The Abyss
by Heart Sandwich
Summary: Nick Wilde was a simple mammal. He went to school, did his assignments, and carried on with his life without stopping, even though it meant he wouldn't build any lasting friendships. But that all changes when he meets a peculiar bunny by the name of Judy Hopps, who takes a strange liking to him almost instantly, and shows him that things in Zootopia are not always what they seem.
1. Chapter 1

**THE ABYSS**

 **HEART SANDWICH**

 **1** **Nick**

My name is Nick Wilde. I'm a 17-year-old that enjoys doing things that involve thinking, and I don't socialize well. Life as it is for me is utterly boring and seems to be going nowhere now that my junior year of high school in Glenwood Saints High is coming to a close. Only three more months until summer break, and only three more months until I can get a job and make money to buy the things I want, or the things I think I want. It seems like such a long time, but in reality, it isn't. The school year went by so fast, just like all of the previous years. I always think when I enter into Glenwood on the first day of another year of high school tenure that it would be long and exceedingly tedious, when in reality it's always the opposite. The days after the first week of school seem to meld together into some kind of forgettable blob wherein nothing of interest happens to me, or to anyone I know, causing all memory of those days to slowly fade into obscurity in my mind. Time goes on, and never stops, and before you know it, BAM! The final exams are right around the corner and you have no clue to what you learned the whole year. Though I manage to pass all of my finals pretty easily, I still have that glaring problem of remembering where I've been in the world, in the limited universe of childhood, and what roads I walked to reach the peak of the mountain of my teenage years.

That's why I began writing so much, I think, to remember here I had been and what I had done. Maybe that's why I'm writing this story right now, to prove that I am _real_. Maybe it's to document the strange beings that prance about through hallways of tile and white brick, all of whom take to a different culture that has the same meaning; none at all. Or maybe I'm writing to myself, to validate what little I have to my name. But maybe I don't have to do that anymore, given the earlier events of this year. For once in my life interesting stuff happened to me, life became less about going day to day and more about discovery and the magic of the unknown. Both literally and metaphorically.

And in the middle of it all was a strange girl. And by all that is holy is she the most interesting mammal I have ever met.

Her name is Judy. Judy Hopps. She is a bunny Jew that manages to act like a Christian who doesn't believe in god. Or rather, she does, but simply decides to ignore the fact that he exists, because he's apparently done it to us the past thousand years. Judy is a very pretty bunny, (which is weird because I'm a fox and I shouldn't think that... oh well, too late now.) her face is round and cute, her eyes large and a striking amethyst color, and her lips small yet full enough to inspire the urge to kiss her spontaneously. Her body was not thin, as quite a few mammals tend to assume all rabbits are, rather she had a delightful amount of fat on her. Not too much to where she was overweight, but enough to give her a fluffy look, while highlighting the subtle curves her body possessed. And let's not forget that ass. Gods that ass. I wish I wasn't so enamored by it, but I can't help it. The flesh is weak, and I'm all flesh. There are days when I would start to believe in religion, and believe that every mammal was hand crafted by the Lord, all because Judy had decided to wear skinny jeans.

But enough about her ass.

I should start from the beginning, when the first month of my junior year end came to a close, and I had made no effort at all to talk to mammals, instead focusing solely on making sure all my school work was in order. And it was all going great until I realized that I was a solitary guy with no friends who didn't have enough interest in other mammals to change that fact. I was doing good in school, though, so It couldn't matter all that much, could it? It shouldn't have, but at the time I felt a strange loneliness in the pit of my stomach whenever I saw mammals talking to their friends, or hugging on to their kiddie-loves, or walking around with their posse. So, at that point it did matter. I wanted all of what everyone else had, the friends, the girlfriends, the cliques. With that in mind, one could say that Judy coming into my life was the answer to my silent prayers.

We met during midterm testing near a bathroom on the far side of Glenwood, near the math classrooms next to the courtyard. I was coming out of the little gentleman's room after taking a bowel-rattling shit, and just so happened to see her leaning against a wall on the other side of said bathroom, a look of despair on her face. Normally, I wouldn't talk to girls as pretty as her in fear of getting my face bashed in by some brute that she happened to be owned by, but something about Judy drew me to her, like a moth to a flame. I remember slowly approaching the distraught rabbit as if she were going to kill me at any moment simply for _existing_ , taking an almost crab-like stance as I creeped towards her. I was in front of her for a few seconds before she noticed my strange activities and gave me an inquisitive look.

"Uhm... What are you doing?" I immediately destroyed my crab form and reverted back to a normal mammal stance and shrugged.

"I was just going to see what was wrong with you. You looked out of it." Judy had looked at me strangely before scratching her scalp and turning away.

"I am fine," She said, disinterested in whatever conversation I was attempting to start with her. I figured at that point she didn't want to talk to a guy like me; an orange fox, standing 4ft, wearing a baggy hoodie and tattered blue jeans, and a somewhat scraggly figure. I cursed myself under my breath before heading my own way, only to be stopped by the girl calling out to me. I turned back to her, an eyebrow cocked upward.

"What is your name?" She asked me. At that point I wasn't too sure of what I was supposed to do. Usually mammals never wanted to talk to me this long. I would have disappeared by now. Though I wanted friends, desperately so, because of my lack of faith in the good will of mammals, I figured that the girl must have been trying to play me for a fool, but I conceded instantly and gave her my name. It was her damn face. The way she looked up at me, her large amethyst eyes searching mine for an answer before I could give one, and the slight twitch of her nose, practically melted my entire soul at that very moment. I was in her trap, whether she knew it or not, and there was no way my hormone-filled mind could escape it.

"Uhh… it's Nick Wilde," I replied weakly. I cursed myself for sounding so pathetic, but nonetheless I kept a stoic mask plastered on my face.

I was visibly perturbed by Judy, who I did not know as Judy yet then, and could not say anymore, even as she made her way closer to me.

"My name is Judy Hopps. You seem very nice." Confusion practically dripped from my mouth as I stood slack-jawed, vertigo threatening to throw me off balance. Or rather, threatening to throw me even more off balance than I already was. This bunny, I remember thinking, was seeing how far my legs could stretch, and I became far more skeptical of her. There was no other reason she would randomly say something like 'you seem very nice' as soon as she meets me.

"Thanks… I guess? We just met though, I could be an asshole," I said, in an attempt to diffuse the situation with reality. It didn't work, apparently.

"No you aren't. I can tell. And this isn't the first time we met. We talked a month or so ago, at lunch." I raised an eyebrow. Had we? I couldn't recall talking to her or anyone for that matter at lunch last month. Then it hit me. I had asked her for a pencil so I could finish some late work. The fact that Judy had remembered such a small thing like that was alarming, to say the least.

"I remember that. We barely talked though, I just needed a pencil."

"I know." We were both silent for a moment. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone to check the time. I had been gone from class for 15 minutes and needed to get back, or my history teacher would have my neck.

"Well, Judy, it was nice meeting you. I have to get to class. So."

"Ok." Was all she said. I shrugged and turned to leave.

I didn't see Judy again for a week after that point, and I thought of her a lot then. She would often pop into my head from time to time, in the form of small questions and lonely thoughts. I had wondered what she was doing within that week during those times, and I wondered who her friends were and what they all did together. There were times where I even wondered who she was dating, or if she was even dating at all, much to my own ire. The testosterone in me seemed to throw random shit like that into my head at the worst of times, without warning and sometimes without cause. Maybe that's why I originally relished the thought of us meeting back up together after her week-long absence finally came to a close, and I saw her in the hallway with a group of mammals I didn't know. Or rather, she saw me, and I waved at her.

At the time I didn't think she remembered what my name was or who I was. To her, I could have been some random guy who thought she was attractive and wanted her attention. Which, if that was what she was thinking, wouldn't be too far from the truth. I did in fact think that she was attractive, and I did, in some strange way, want her attention, but I still didn't trust her very much. I still had the lingering thought in my head that she was playing with me, and that she would appear with a group of 'popular' girls to laugh at me for thinking that she would ever associate herself with a mammal of my lowly stature. You know, the standard high school drama. Yet she managed to surprise me again.

She waved back.

I stopped dead in my tracks, eyes narrowed. Why didn't she just look away and ignore me, something I was so used to? I would have been slightly upset, but it was still easier to grasp than this. The girl started walking towards me, away from the group she was already a part of. For a moment I pondered whether or not I should turn and walk away from her, preventing any sort of conversation from starting and thus preventing any questions from being asked. Instead I just stared at her as she stopped in front of me.

"Hi Nick."

"Hey." That seemed to offend her for some reason, as if she were hoping for a better reply.

"You did not forget my name, did you?" Ah, that's why. She must have thought I had completely forgotten her existence as soon as I went back to my history class.

In truth, I had, but only for a short while before I remembered her again while eating a sandwich at home some hours later.

"It's Judy, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. I'm glad you did not forget me."

"Okay then… why? We've barely talked."

"You are nice. I want to talk to you more," She replied. I noticed then how she had a strangely quiet expression on her face, one that betrayed nothing but a faint whistle of feeling. Was she always like this? The intrigue engorges.

"Alright that's cool. I guess…" What was I supposed to say then? A hot girl just walked up to me and admitted that she wants to talk to me. And not just talk to me, but talk to me _more_. That implies multiple talkings, which was a roadway to friendship, no less!

"Do you want to sit with me at lunch?" I didn't know where I got the courage to say this, but I said it, and Judy seemed to be interested. Because she gave a quick 'yes' before turning to look at her friends, probably signaling for them to wait for her, then looked back to me and brought her phone out of her pocket.

"What's your number?" I tell her. She gives me hers and walks back to her group of friends, leaving me slightly confused and a tad bit annoyed.

The bell rung, and I walked to class.

I tapped the desk I sat in idly, anxious to get up and move. I hated sitting in one spot for too long, it irked me in all sorts of directions that I'd rather not go in, and made me crave some kind of activity other than doing the equivalent of office work for an hour. Everyone else around me seemed fine, though. They were chatting with each other and laughing, enjoying the fickle company they had as much as they could, a thing that made me furrow my brow in confusion. They did realize there were more important things to talk about than who fucked who in the school bathroom, or if the school whore gave crabs to Jeremy Smith, the local jockstrap on our football team, right? Obviously they didn't, as they just kept going on and on about these things right in front of the teacher, who had seemingly realized his mistake in becoming one in the first place, and had begun wishing he could go back in time and slap some sense into himself. This was standard fare for my fourth period class. Our teacher, Mr. Michaels, gave out work, and sat at his desk with his legs propped up on it, watching while his students did whatever they wanted with a disgusted look on his face, only getting up when he realized that he needed to actually teach in order to keep his job. And every time he did, much to my surprise, everyone would go quiet and actually listen. He was a strange mammal; not a lot of male deer could pull of the 'grizzled and mysterious' look, yet he managed to it perfectly. He always coming into school wearing cologne that barely masked the smell of alcohol, and always calm, even when students blatantly disrespected him. He was a man that had better things to do, and teaching was not one of those things. I once asked why he continued to teach, even though you can clearly tell from his expensive shoes and watch that he made more money doing other things.

"It's because I'm a prey. I don't know when to quit," Michaels joked, giving me a light push.

"That's a horrible response."

"Ha! You too? My wife said the same thing."

"That should tell you something about the state of your jokes, if your wife has to go on and tell you that they suck." He laughed. Why? I have no clue. I didn't think my response was funny—it was the truth—but there was something in that truth Michaels found entertaining. Or maybe it was how I said it. Or my facial expression when I said it. Whatever it was, it sent him into a fit, and caught the attention of the students in the class room for a moment.

"Ahh… ha ha! That was good. That was good. In all seriousness though…" He leaned forward.

"I teach because I _like_ teaching. I have two jobs. My other job makes me about eight trillion times more money than working here does, but I enjoy this environment. Even the shitty seniors that think they've got the world all figured out, or any brat in this school for that matter. It's enjoyable to watch kids grow, ask questions, and learn. Well. The kids in this class, other than you, not so much. But I think you get my point." And I did. My father had always told me to do something I enjoyed rather than something that just nets me a fat wad of cash, cause at the end of the day it's better to be stuck doing a job you love rather than something you simply tolerate for a paycheck. Then again, most don't have that luxury.

Considering his odd tendencies and seemingly boundless sources for 'tidbits of wisdom', as he put it, Mr. Michaels was my source of information for a plethora of things, his knowledge stretching far beyond what 29-year-old should have, and instead reaching out towards the wise state of being 60. He attributed this to his childhood, in which he said that he was the 'biggest fool of them all', and how he had done some 'serious shit'.

Failure is, in fact, the greatest teacher.

Maybe that was true to an extent, though I believe that failure is an option that can be avoided if a mammal is adept in the field of common sense. Though there are those who severely lack that very thing, a hefty amount of the mammal population can use it properly at least _once_ in their lives. Yet what is common sense? Could it exist without failure? There was obviously no such thing as it when mammals came about, and it didn't seem to come into play until science had arisen from the mind of an Aztec or Mayan with outstanding intelligence. Right? Or maybe none of that matters, and common sense came from the ability to tell what is right and what is wrong. But the subjectiveness of right and wrong disproves that. For example; you can raise a child to be a decent mammal, only for that child to murder someone when they get older. And though that mammal was told since they were young that murder is wrong, they still do it anyway. Intentionally, too. That goes against common sense. Or does it? What do you make of a mammal who believes that crime is common sense, or hiding the body of a victim is common sense? Does that taint its name, or does that further prove the argument of right and wrong?

Even if, at the end of the day, common sense can't be explained through definition, it is exemplified by mammal action. It is the opposite of wrongdoing, yet it can be used for wrongdoing. It is an enemy to the enemy, but remains a close friend with the enemy, fingers crossed behind its back. Or maybe, just maybe, common sense doesn't exist, and it's just the brain doing what it's supposed to do; solve a problem with as little trouble as possible, with minimal consequence.

The bell signaling the end of fourth period tore me out of my thoughtful state, and I realized I had sat tapping my pencil for thirty minutes, doing absolutely nothing but staring off into space. I assumed that no one noticed me doing it, as no comment on the most-likely infernal sounds of wood hitting wood in a quick and sporadic fashion was made. Maybe someone had noticed, on the other hand, but chose not to say anything because they thought I was weird. Which I am. I didn't want anyone else knowing that, though.

I got out of my seat and grabbed my backpack, slowly and methodically heading for my next class. It was upstairs, in a tight hallway that split from the main first floor hallway, and had all white walls instead of white and green like the second floor or white and blue like the primary floor. The hallway was almost always packed with students going back and forth to their respective places during period transition, making the path to fifth period a terribly annoying and time consuming endeavor that I had come to loathe. Being next to others in such a squished manner, with no ways of escape, and with smells you'd rather not smell going into your lungs was not exactly the best situation to be in. Especially if you are me and have a strange hatred for small and crowded spaces with abundant amounts of mammal movement.

My fifth period teacher, Mr. Pfeiffer, teaches history and geography. He was another teacher I got along with and talked to on a regular basis. He was a somewhat lanky zebra with a sharp face and neat with glasses clinging to his snout, not too much of an imposing figure, and someone who looked easy to get by on. But make no mistake, he made up for his less than large appearance with sheer intelligence and some sort of infinite ancient mojo he gained from playing Dungeons and Dragons as a kid, which he used to talk mammals in to doing things they were trying to avoid. It was almost as if he studied psychology—I wouldn't be surprised if he did—with the way he talked mammals into double knots.

Pfeiffer used this skill excellently to convey his points and give new meaning to the material he taught, which honestly makes me wonder why he even bothered to be a History teacher in high school instead of a professor.

With that being said, history is by far my favorite subject, as it is the subject that precedes all subjects—science, math, reading—in its age and importance. Through truths and harsh realities history teaches us not to repeat it, to avoid treading down familiar paths, and instead make new ones. Mammals don't listen to this, of course, and because of that men like Hitler rise to power.

The ones at fault for horrible events such as the Holocaust are not the ones who command terrible things to happen, but those who follow such commands blindly.

History is the opus of man—his autobiography—dating back to the beginning era where the first sabertooth discovered the story telling power of cave art, and continuing on until now, in an age of technological marvel and ever growing social and political strife.

"How was your weekend, guys?" Apparently Mr. Pfeiffer had been having a good day, his happy disposition almost making me want to join in to peak at whatever glee was floating around in his head.

Most of the students in the room answered with either 'good', 'ok', or radio silence. He continued rambling on about things, mostly pertaining to his weekend, where he did something with his daughter and nephew. What it was, I have no idea. I stopped paying attention about twenty seconds into his monologue, instead taking in the room around me, as I usually did. Two chalk boards. One in the front of the classroom to the left of the door leading into the room, and the other on the far right wall, directly next to me. Various posters with quotes from presidents or amendments were hanging around the room, covering up most of the white brick work walls, making the room seem a little less boring. Only by a small margin, though. Pictures of old dead guys and their works doesn't tend to liven up places very much.

"Alrighty then, let's begin the lesson. Open up your textbooks to page 98." Mr. Pfeiffer said, having wrapped up his recalling of past events while I was daydreaming.

History passed by in the blink of an eye, and then came the anticipation of lunch. My hungry stomach called out to the world like a beached whale, desperate for nourishment.

In the heat of the moment, right after the bell rang dismissing fifth, I forgot about everything and only had one thing on my mind; food. I raced passed everyone I could without running, instead choosing to walk faster than the speed of light just to get a burger.

I reached the lunchroom in record time, hoping in one of the short lines to get a burger, the same as usual. Against the tide of the typical hungry teenager, I stood, waiting for my meal in a tight single file line.

Suddenly the lunchroom was no longer a lunchroom; it was a bastion of consumables, a getaway, a brief period of reprisal before the day continued as it should have. I was greatful for this time, and I used it wisely. Often I brought late work to the lunchroom and finished in a strawberry milk fueled rush, cursing myself for my laziness yet commending my own speed as I tore through assignments like they were nothing.

It seemed like the lunchroom was for more than just lunch for me.

I grabbed the food I wanted; a steak burger with fries and a strawberry milk (my favorite school time beverage), as per usual, and made my way to my little slice of heaven. The lunchroom was split into three parts—The food lines, the tables, and the booths. The food lines were exactly as their name entailed; lines to get food. The lunch tables were incredibly long, with about fifteen seats on each side of each table. And last, but not least, the booths. They were corner tables that bent in a ninety degree angle on each side of the cafeteria, save the food line section of course. Groups of girls or club members got together at these little cornerstones to chat and plan, often becoming quite loud in the process. There had also been incidents of sexual misconduct at the booths because of the privacy they allow, but nothing was done to change this. Why? Ask our superintendent.

I just so happen to have a booth to myself, and Oh was it great.

Mammals left me alone when I sat there, giving me the privacy I wanted so I could draw and write in peace, with no prying eyes leaning greedily over my shoulder to poke a curious glance at my works. That had always annoyed me about most mammals. They love to stick their muzzles and snouts in places they don't belong without permission, as if they deserved to be clued in to everyone's secrets in the first place. For some reason they were the center of the universe, the pinnacle of all things, a presence to be lauded. The narcissism grows deep within them, taking over slowly, coming out of the mirror to assume it's real shape.

And so on and so forth.

My brain starts to kick in to overdrive for no reason at the worst of times, leaving me thinking too much about things I don't need to know while thinking too little about things I actually _do_ need. A conundrum I still have not found the cause nor the cure for. I call it a 'bad case of inner monologue' for that very reason.

It happened as I sat down in my usual seat, uncaring of the world around me. I had just picked up my burger when all of a sudden something hit me.

I was supposed to be meeting with a girl right about now, and she most likely has no idea where I am. The lunchroom usually contains hundreds of kids, some of them taking a strange resemblance to me when you can't see them from the front. I remembered that I gave her my phone number and took said device out of my left pocket. I turn the screen on by tapping it. As it turned out, Judy had messaged me already. Multiple times.

11:35am _16087892214: Hello, this is_ _Judy_ _._

11:46am _16087892214: Hello?_ _Nick?_ _Is this the right number?_

11:54am _16087892214: Can you answer? Are you busy?_

12:01pm _16087892214: I'm heading to lunch._

I lifted an eyebrow. This girl was insistent on talking to me for some reason, and while most guys would quiver in their snakeskin boots to have an attractive female pin after them in such a way, I on the other hand found it creepy and highly disturbing.

I didn't trust Judy at all and felt as if she were playing me for a fool still, trying to cause some melodrama I could care less about. There was still a nagging current in the back of my head, though, a small wave of naivety that wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried to crush it. I wanted to believe that Judy genuinely wanted to get to know me to a degree, but my better half told me not to put my faith in her, or anyone, for that matter, so I decided against trusting her. For the moment.

But, to not seem like a complete ass, I decided to text her back.

12:07pm _Me: Hey_ _Judy_ _, sorry about that. My phone is on silent, and I wasn't paying any attention to it._

I turned my phone to 'vibrate' and placed it on the table and began to eat my lunch, which I had completely forgotten about for a short while. The burger was excellent, but only because I was starving at the moment. Any other time it would have been absolute garbage. School lunches were like that; good when you're hungry, terrible when you aren't.

The sound of a tray being placed on the table I was situated at brought my eyes to the source of the noise and away from the food in front of me. To my surprise it was Judy. Had she gotten my text? She apparently looked for me and spotted me out of the hundreds of other students, so it was possible that she did.

"Hi." She said, sitting down and staring at me intently, her nose twitching.

"Hello."

We stared at each other. It was painfully awkward, the both of us trying to come up with something to say. You'd think that a girl who put a margin of effort into talking to you would have a worth-while conversation prepared already. Apparently, that wasn't true in this case, as Judy seemed more lost for words than I was, and I'm supposed to be the clueless boy in this situation. With that in mind, I got annoyed at her silence pretty quickly, the feeling of distrust bubbling within me once more.

"Why have you taken such an interest in me?" I asked her. The girl gave me an inquisitive look before shrugging her shoulders.

"I think you are nice. I think. I like to think that. Are you nice?"

"Depends on your definition of 'nice'."

"By my definition you are nice. So you must be nice by your definition too." I lifted an eyebrow.

What was she going on about? She didn't seem air-headed, or slow in the mind, I had heard that she was actually quite smart so the fact that she was speaking in what seemed to be chopped up phrases threw me for a loop. A very large one, in fact, a loop I fell off of while still upside down because I wasn't fast enough to complete it.

"You are confusing me."

"I know. It is fun. You are fun. We should hang out more."

I noticed that her facial expression never changed during our strange talk, remaining neutral and unfeeling. What was wrong with this girl? Who had I just gotten myself mixed up with?

"Are you okay? You seem a bit… uh… how do I put this… dead? I don't know." I tried to explain what I saw in her face, her image, but I couldn't seem to properly convey the concept to her, leaving her confused as I was just moments ago.

The silence returned. I stared at Judy, and she turned her eyes to her food. The point of our little meeting was still lost to me, and I didn't think that there was anything to salvage regarding conversation. I looked at my phone. It was 12:19 pm. Only six more minutes of lunch left, then it's back to class. I didn't want to spend those last minutes in silence, so I decided to come up with a topic to chat about with Judy. She beat me to the punch.

"We only have 6 minutes left. We didn't talk much. Though I liked the talking we did do. It was interesting. Care to meet up again tomorrow?" Judy leaned forward, a somewhat hopeful look in her eyes.

"Why not? I sit here every day, so you don't have to worry about me disappearing or anything," I said. Judy nodded.

"Ok. That is nice. Uhm… I have to go. I will text you after school. Bye." Judy quickly grabbed her tray and walked off, looking back once to wave me goodbye.

I remember thinking that she was the strangest girl I had ever met, and that she couldn't get any stranger than she had been during lunch that day. Oh, was I wrong. Why? Because we didn't just meet twice that day, we met three times. The first two times were almost normal, Judy seemed to be a little socially inept. Our third meeting however… if I could say anything about it, I would say that it marked exactly where I stopped being a normal teenager, and Zootopia became a much more evil place.


	2. Chapter 2

**THE ABYSS**

 **HEART SANDWICH**

 **2** **Judy**

' _Today is going to be a good day._ _I woke up on time and ate a good breakfast and talked with my father for a few moments. Usually we do not talk at all. He said 'Hello' to me and told me all the chores I needed to do when I got home after school. I was happy. He never talked to me. Even to tell me what to do. He would always write a note because he would be at work by the time I woke up._

 _I love my father._

 _He loves me. I know it. This morning proved it. I rode the morning bus a very happy girl, and seeing the mammals I had made as friends made me happy too. I had a total of four friends on my bus. Ronny, Yusif, Benjy, and Katelynn. They are the best-_

'Oh god that is awful,' I think to myself, my personal journal opened to the page I wrote this morning. I looked around my class, making sure no one peeked over my shoulder and got an eyeful of the horrible slosh of words encapsulated within the spiral notebook in front of me.

I close the notebook. God, I can't believe how bad my mind was when I was on my medication. My journal was more than enough proof that I needed to hold off on the pain suppressers, even if I would suffer migraines all day. They were only a crutch, really, not a problem solver. Maybe I could try to get them scaled back by my doctor to cut the amount I needed to take a day, so I could be less loopy and more focused on talking to mammals that I actually wanted to talk to. One such mammal was a fox I met named Nick. He saw me in the hallway and just started to chat with me, and even though it was just small talk, I was having a moment and appreciated his assistance greatly. I really couldn't call it assistance, though, now could I? It's not like he knew I had a real problem going on at that time. I could have been upset about anything really. The fact of the matter is that he seems like a nice mammal. I like him, but I don't think he likes me very much though; he seems untrusting when we talk, like I might get mad at him or say something about the fact that he's a fox. He didn't really bring up that fact, however, so It's more likely that he was intimidated by my reputation and the like; girls follow me around in a group and guys line up to try and see how they can get laid.

I can attribute that popularity solely to the fact that I was the best track runner in school, and that I was also valedictorian. Mammals basically worshipped me because of this, all of them admiring how well I do things and my standing in Glenwood. A lot of mammals also thought that I was extremely attractive, and I had no shortage of random bucks, and sometimes even does, asking me out on dates. Predators, prey, everyone had taking a liking to me, which was... pleasing? Even now, in my junior year, I can't really wrap my ears around the attention.

A migraine hits me like a brick flying through a car windshield, killing my thought process for a moment. I rub my temples. I need to get out of class to take my medication, if I don't, I'll probably end up passing out from all of the pain and freakish things I start seeing when I have a particularly bad one. A floating thought in the back of my head suggested that I _shouldn't_ take the pills, and try to tough out the migraine. I almost decided to just that, because I wanted to be clear headed for the rest of the school day. But the pulsing in my head and the fear of hallucinations prompted me to raise my hand to excuse myself from class.

Dr. Fig, my science teacher, looks and me and weaves his way across other students sitting in their desks working. Dr. Fig is a portly bear, his white dress shirt and slacks stretching over his form circular form. Most students enjoy pointing out how his fur is always poking through the creases and folds of his obviously too small shirt, and sometimes they even made a mockery of how his snout was slightly bent. Even with that being said, however, I have found no one that dislikes Fig, and there was good reason. He had a deep, wise tone to his voice, his years of knowledge being exemplified through his speech patterns and habits. The way he took care of his students, no matter how awful they can be, was something to behold as well. Dr. Fig tried his best to guide his students down the right path, as if he were their grandfather warning them of the dangers that come with being 'in' with the wrong crowd, and because of that he was often the go-to-mammal for students who had personal problems at home, or at school. There was also the way he taught science, melding the often-boring book work with enjoyable, yet challenging exercises that revolved around team work and the golden rule to be done properly. If there was any class in Glenwood that was nearly impossible to fail, it was this one.

"What do you need Judy?" He asked, a scholarly look of intrigue formed across his facial features.

"I need my medication."

"Ah, I see. Bad migraine?"

"Bad migraine." Dr. Fig smiled and ushered me to his desk, where he quickly filled out a teacher's note for temporary dismissal.

"Thank you." I say, giving the bear a quick smile before rushing out of the classroom.

On the way there, I get a skull rattling headache behind my left eye, the suddenness of the pressured sensation almost causing me to let out a small cry of pain. I lean against a wall and put my head in my hands for a moment, my ears flopping uselessly to the sides of my skull. Thankfully no one was in the hallway when I did this, or I'd have mammals swarming me and asking me what was wrong, and I would have to answer with an 'I'm fine' for every worried face I came across. I press closer against the wall and put a palm over my eye, fighting the urge to bang my head against a locker as I heard a low ringing in my right ear, one that was progressively getting louder. I knew what that meant, and I didn't want it to reach its full strength. I looked up and frantically searched for anything out of the ordinary. I saw nothing, so I ran to the nurse office as fast as I could, being sure to avoid any narrow hallways or bathrooms. After a minute of running I stood in front of the glass doors of the nurse's office, and rushed into it, afraid of everything because of the fact that _nothing_ was happening. That usually meant I was about to see something awful.

One of the nurses, Mrs. Bennet, a small otter, saw me look around with a high degree of paranoia and approached me.

"Judy, dear, are you alright?" She asked. I shook my head.

"No, I need my medication, now." I handed her the teacher slip, and she quickly walked off to retrieve my medication.

I sat down in a chair next to the main nurse's desk, which was a big ceramic and mahogany thing that looked nice but completely unnecessary. The ringing in my ear began to resurface, and once again I felt the need to run. Eyes were watching me somewhere, somewhere I couldn't point out, a place in the shadows of the afternoon sky _they_ waited for me. They waited for me to miss a pill, to be stuck with my condition for a moment, so they could come out and prance around me. The beasts never touched me, however. That was the worst part; they only threatened of pain, but they never gave it, leaving me fearful of when they finally would. I shake my head and begin to try and think of happy things, better things, while I waited for Mrs. Bennet to fetch my capsulized savior. I hear footsteps approaching me, and for a moment I was content, thinking that Mrs. Bennet had done her job exceedingly well today. But when I looked up and saw that she was nowhere to be found, I understood what was beginning to happen.

The footsteps, heavy and muddy, began to pick up their pace. It was coming from the hallway, the hallway I had came from. It had been following me, hadn't it? I stand up and back away from the door.

"Uhh… Mrs. Bennet! Can you hurry? My headache is getting worse, and it hurts!"

"One moment, dear, I've gotten it but I need to know the right dosage. This medication is different from your old medication." I let out a fearful sigh.

A shadow encroaches the door to the nurses office- which shouldn't have been possible since there was a light directly on top of the door—it seems to be staring at me, though it did not have eyes or a body. The darkness within the shadow grew pungent, and began to murmur words to me in a language I never heard before, in the form of a whisper.

 _'Grët m'lrôk thü…'_ The voice was raspy yet coy, and sent a shiver down my spine as I sat back down. I attempted to hide my fear, to not give the shadow any acknowledgement that may betray me to others. No one needed to know what I could see. No one. It was my burden to carry, mine alone. Even now, when I could seek help and end these monstrous hallucinations, I knew I had to stay silent about them. There were mammals in my family I knew that had been taken to mental institutions and left to rot for seeing far less than what I was, and being in one of those places for too long often caused them to go mad and experience worse visions.

So I had to pretend that there was only a migraine in my head, and nothing else. But how was I supposed to do that when a large shadow whispering in my ear constantly plagued me in public? I turn my gaze away from the shadow, and towards the nurses desk.

"Mrs. Bennet, please hurry. I need those pills, my head feels like it's going to explode!" I cried.

The whispers around me began to grow plentiful, and they began to buzz and distort slightly, like the sound of radio static. Soon they began a chant, repeating the same phrase over and over again;

 _'Grët m'lrôk thü…_

As time progressed and my grasp on reality began slipping, the chant began to get louder and louder and louder until a final screech erupted from the shadow.

 _ **'Grët m'lrôk thü!**_ _ **'**_

The shadow expanded, completely covering the windows of the nurse's office, blocking my view of the outside world. I was trapped. Soon, the door would be open, and the shadows would claim me, and I would die. I hold back a pained scream and place my head into my hands, plugging my ears with my fingers, desperately trying to block out the evil noise and hide from the growing shadow all at once. The pulsing in my head became akin to a thump, as if my brain had its own heartbeat.

' _Go away go away go away go away go away go away go away—_ _'_

"Judy! Are you alright? Can you hear me?" I look up slowly from my hands, and see the concerned face of Mrs. Bennet staring into my eyes, searching for an answer that she knew I could not give.

I nod slowly, and lift my hand up, beckoning for my medication, my escape to reality, my only exit in this bleak nightmare that I have ventured into against my will so many times before. Mrs. Bennet seems to understand me, as she immediately gives me six pills and a glass of water. I down the pills as fast as I can and drink the entire cup of water, coughing a bit afterwards. I shudder, slowly looking around the room. There are no more large shadows and whispering wisp voices, no more fear, no more paranoia. The day was mine now, and I was happy. In a moment I would begin to feel a tingling sensation in my hands, signifying an overdose—though not a harmful one—a much lauded feeling that made me smile. I knew the bad times were over for the moment. And for me, right then and there, that was all I needed.

Two hands clasped around my shoulders and gave me a light shake, the suddenness of the action causing me to let a small cry of surprise exit my mouth. I look up, and see the concerned face of the assistant principle, Larry Goodman, a tall and imposing wolf, staring at me. His mouth was moving, but no words came to my ears. I nodded at whatever he had been saying, and then tried to stand up, only to be lightly pushed back down in to my seat. I looked at Goodman with an indignant stare, unsure of why he pushed me back down into my seat. He seemed confused by this, and looked towards Mrs. Bennet, who simply shrugged her shoulders. He began talking again, and still I could not hear anything, save for a dull ringing and distorted phrases.

"...at least we know she's responsive. What did you give her, and how much of it did you give to her?" Goodman inquired. Mrs. Bennet handed him a small slip of paper. I blinked a few times. Going deaf had never been a side effect

"I gave her six Phrylhrydrimene Chlorohydroxyium pills, a prescribed overdose of the drug that her doctor recommended for her extreme migraines."

"Her doctor prescribed her an overdose?"

"Yes, it's a minor overdose, though, and it only numbs her body enough to help her deal with the migraines. It is strange though, I will admit, but this isn't the first time her doctor has done this." Mrs. Bennet turned to me, and placed her hand on my forehead.

"Do you still feel like you need to throw up?" She asked. I give her a confused look, not understanding why she had asked me that question.

"What do you mean? I don't think I ever felt like throwing up."

"But you just nodded 'yes' to Mr. Goodman when he asked if you felt nauscious."

So _that's_ what he said. No wonder he made me sit back down, he probably thought I would throw up if I stood.

"I wasn't in the right state of mind to hear him properly, so I just nodded along. Sorry. Can I go back to class now?" They both shared looks between each other.

"I think you should stay here for the time being. That medication I gave you is stronger than—"

"I have to get back to class. I have to. I don't want to be absent or tardy." I said, standing up once more to leave. Goodman did as he did previous; place his hands on my shoulders and gently attempt to get me to sit down.

I look at him, remove his hands from my shoulders, and try walk past him. He steps in front of me.

"We can't let you leave until we are sure that you are alright. It's school policy."

"But what about my classes? I don't want any tardies or absences."

"You don't have to worry about that, I will personally pull up your schedule and ensure that your teachers don't mark you absent or tardy," Goodman reassured me with a small smile.

I nod and take a seat, not caring for whatever questions they began pelting me with afterwards.

I had to sit in the nurse's office for an hour after my little episode, and they called my dad, too. The assistant principal told him that he thinks I should take a break from school and seek professional help. At first he was going to just let me go back to class, but Mrs. Bennet looked at my medical records and found out that I have intense hallucinations before and after I take my medication, something which I hadn't planned on telling her any time soon, (and something that she, given the purpose of her job, was supposed to already know) and so he made the choice to send me home. The bastard. Now I have a week's worth of work to finish when I get back, and I won't be able to talk to Nick. I was looking forward to meeting him at lunch, but fate seemed to have other plans for me. I had to spend an entire week at home doing nothing but taking pills and sleeping, which was so incredibly boring that I almost _died_ of it quite a few times. My siblings didn't help with the boredom either, since all 275 of them were in school most of the day, and when they got home all they did was eat and try to figure out a way to annoy me, even the older siblings (Who should have damned well moved out of dad's house a _long_ time ago). Somehow, though, I kept waking up in the morning, even after an intense night of nothingness. The week went by slowly, yet it was over in the blink of an eye. I can recall dragging myself through Monday as if it was the worst moment of my young life, then being happy and content with how much _nothing_ was going on when Thursday came around. Now it's Saturday, and frankly, I wish I could have gone to school that entire week, rather than wasting it sleeping and watching silly romance movies. But there was one odd thing about that week that was gnawing at my brain. My dad hadn't taken me to see any sort of physician or psychiatrist during that period like he promised the assistant principal. I asked him why, and he said that psychiatrists only tell you that there's something wrong with you because they are paid to do it and benefit if their industry benefits, insinuating that they embellish your symptoms, then send you to a doctor, who'll then prescribe you expensive medicine that most likely does nothing. A monopoly, of sorts. I remember asking him if that was capitalism, and he responded by saying;

"It's textbook. The very definition."

Being a man of few words ever since my mother died, that was all he said to me before ushering me away so that he could continue his work.

Oh well. I hate therapy anyway.

I met Nick in the hallway again, and he hadn't forgotten me in the wake of my week-long absence, which wasn't surprising at all, since I seemed like the only other living creature besides his parents (probably) that he had actually ever spoken to for more than thirty seconds. I took a note of his awkwardness, and his badly hidden attempts to reign back his personality, two things that had gotten my nose twitching.

I managed to get his phone number before I went back to the group of girls I had been walking with, smiling a small but goofy smile, content with my progress in befriending him. I began to wonder what he thought of me, and if he would text me or not. I don't know why, but there was something about Nick that drew me to him—like a magnet or a fly to a carcass—and I couldn't seem to stop thinking about him. Then again, I think of all my friends like that, so maybe it isn't as weird as it feels.

"Who was that?" One of the girls, voluptuous jaguar wearing a _really_ small shirt and tight jeans asked me. I killed the smile on my face and gave a shrug.

"A boy I just met. He's alright."

"You seemed pretty happy when you came back from talking to him." She said, winking at me. I feigned disgust, and turned away from her.

"I'd rather you not get any strange ideas, Sasha. I'm leaving." The girl called after me, as did the rest, but I ignored them in favor of entertaining the thought of talking to Nick later that day during lunch.

The day went by fairly quickly after that moment, my thoughts of Nick seemingly destroying my internal clock. I recalled giving Nick my phone number and receiving his so I decided to text him. I sent one text telling him that it was me, just in case he forgot, which he wouldn't because it was my number, and not some other girl's number. Though, from what I gathered of him, I'd like to think that his mom ws at the top of his contacts list. I put my phone away and tried to pay attention on whatever my Physics teacher was spouting out, but I couldn't focus, I was too worried about whether or not Nick would text me back. When five minutes passed and he hadn't replied to me I sent another message. Then another. Then another.

I furrowed my brow and placed a let my chin rest on my hand, propping myself up with my elbow as I stared at my phone. A realization hit me. I was being extremely creepy at this point. I barely knew Nick, yet for some reason I was acting like I had known him for years and we were just going to be all 'buddy buddy', and everything was going to be magical rainbows of friendship.

"Miss Hopps, is there something on your phone you would like to share with the class?" I shot up straight in my chair and smiled awkwardly.

"No sir, I was just checking the time!"

"Really? For ten minutes straight?" I heard a few giggles from the students around me. Knowing my Physics teacher, who, since I despise his existence so much, have purposely forgotten the name of, I would have to come up with a good lie to prevent him from trying to read my texts out loud. He had done it to many students before, and while some of them really WERE checking the time, the other ones were wrapped up in very... mature conversations.

"I... Uh... I was so enthralled by the time that I... uhm... was counting the minutes?"

"Oh, is it because my class is boring to you, Miss Valedictorian?"

"Yes!" I reply, not taking the time to actually listen to what he had just said, leaving me confused and appalled when my fellow classmates begin to howl with laughter. It took me a second to finally recall my teacher's words, and when I did, my eyes went wide and my mouth dropped.

"W-wait, no! I didn't mean—"

"I see you like to be cheeky, hmm? Meet me after school, Hopps." I let out a groan and let my face fall into my desk.

Not one second later, the bell rings, and I am out of my seat and down the hallway.

"So, what happened at school today, Judy?" My father asks me, not taking his eyes from his computer as he scrolls through a farming catalog.

"I... well, I kinda got in trouble. My teacher had me stay after school for an hour because I said his class was boring." That statement caught his attention. My father looked up at me, his eyebrows threatening to become one with his ears as he mulled over my words with a twitch to his nose and a slight frown adorning his mouth.

"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and I work with folk down in Bunnyburrow on a daily basis! What did he make you do?"  
"Oh, you know, the standard 80's punishment; writing 'I will not do 'insert thing here' anymore. It was annoying and my wrist hurts." My father grunted and returned his eyes to his computer.

"I might have to go up and have a chat with this man. What teacher is it?"  
"He's my Physics teacher, and he's my fifth period. I don't like him, so I didn't memorize his name," I said. My father gave another grunt, and then shooed me off.

I sigh and go off my own way, leaving my father's study and going to the living room, where most of my younger siblings were, and fight my way to the couch and plop down on it. As if on cue, I start getting hounded by a group of little sisters.

"JUDY JUDY! YOU'RE HOME!" The screaming was too much for me, so I pin my ears firmly into my skull.

"Chrissy, Saddie, Maggie, Joanne, Rover, everyone else! I am trying to relax! Please leave me alone!" The young bunnies in question all back off, save for two, the most troublesome kits off all time.

"Johnny, Thomas. I can hear you trying to sneak up on me." I turn and give the two little boys a stern glare, and they instantly vanish behind the couch and run of squealing. Groaning, I lay down on the couch and close my eyes, needing a little sleep to calm my fried nerves.


	3. Chapter 3

**3 NICK**

Food. That is all I wanted. After coming home from an admittedly exhausting day at school, all I wanted was to go into the kitchen and whip up a fish salad and relax. And that is exactly what I did. I made the most exquisite sandwich possible, putting every topping known to the universe within it, creating the most delicious abomination any mammal had ever had the pleasure of simply looking at. Once my masterpiece was finished, I settled down in the dining room with my computer and resumed my favorite show, The Outsiders, a gripping drama about drugs, sex, teen pregnancy and the newly coined 'Super Aids' epidemic that was currently causing a riot in the homosexual communities of Zootopia. Well, the show portrays it to be that way. Super Aids probably isn't even a real thing, it sounds to ridiculous to be so. I take a bite of my sandwich and lean back in my chair, not a care in the world.

The familiar sounds of keys jingling and the front door unlocking drew my attention away from my much needed me time, and to the familiar auburn fur of my mother as she opened the front door and entered into the house. I turned off my laptop and stood up from the chair I was sitting on, hurrying over to my mother to help her with the grocery bags she was carrying.

"Thank you, sweetie."

"No problem. How was work?" My mother gave me an amused look.

"Do you really care, or do you just want to hear me rant about how much I hate my coworkers?"

I smile.

"A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B." She smiles at me and walks past me into the kitchen.

"Well, if you must know, Stacey was at it again." I wince.

"Don't tell me she wore the clogs again."

"SHE DID. OH MY GOSH. I wanted to say something so bad, you do not know!" I bark in laughter, and my mom joins in. After a few moments we go quiet and stare at each other, mother and son seeing deeply into one another, a bond shared only by them and to no one else, except for the ones that had once been. I help my mom with the rest of the grocery bags (which were still in the car during the entire interaction we shared. She thanks me quickly before running back out to the car, prepared to begin her second job at a nursing home for the elderly.

"Hold down the house, Nicky, I'll be back before 10, I promise," My mother told me before hurrying her way back over to me for a quick hug. It seemed like we had just seen each other, and the previous moment we had never actually happened, as it went by so fast one could easily forget what exactly went on.

"Yes ma'am. Don't work yourself to death, mom. Be home soon." I waved at her as she got into her red toyota car and pulled out of the driveway. A deep sadness made its way into my chest while I watched her leave. Ever since father had passed on due to lung cancer, my mother nearly killed herself every month to be sure that we had a place to sleep, as the neighborhood we were in had a high cost-of-living. I didn't blame her for doing so, as moving would be even more expensive to just downright move. I wanted to work as well, and help her, but she refused to allow me to work, stating that school should be my number one priority, as well as being a teenager, whatever the hell that meant. I go back to the house; my mother being long gone by the time I realized her car had pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the street. I close the front door and lock it, heading to my room for some R and R, which I felt guilty for as my mother was out working herself to the bone to make sure I had a place to be lazy and sleep all afternoon. I enter my bedroom and go into my closet, where I had an entire stash of books that I had covertly stolen from my school, something that my mother detested but at the same time agreed with, as she believed that reading books builds a strong mind, which I can agree with, as my mind was top rate compared to other foxes I knew. Education would get me far, especially in Zootopia, where species uproar was often common. I was judged based on what I was, a sly fox that knew how to work around other mammals to get what I wanted, something that I hated yet couldn't get out of falling directly into my own prejudices, as I knew that I did some pretty shady things in the past and even in the present, with my self-administered exile from other mammals that I employed upon myself. I didn't like talking to any mammal that I hadn't spoken with in the past at least once, save for Judy, but that is a story for a different time. Or rather, a story after the story already being told.

I reach for a book in my closet, randomly selecting one without looking at the cover to give myself some sort of surprise in the midst of painful mediocrity. There was something odd about doing this, it seemed to disappoint my brain whenever i picked out a book I had already started reading, giving me a strange urge to throw the binding of written word across my room, thankfully the book I chose; "The Ins and Outs of the Zootopian Way", was something I had just started reading, so my mind wasn't horribly irritated by the choice. I plop down on my bed and begin to read. My mind begins to wander into the nonfiction novel, sealing me in a type of trace as my eyes flew past the words on the page, absorbing me into a land of freedom, a land of aged yellow pages and long paragraphs talking about how mammals behaved and how the economy was bent in all sorts of ways based on the mammals within it. I felt the tug of interest pulling me deeper and deeper into the book, eventually sealing me away in the pages as if they were cursed to do so. I had reached the peak of my reading time, which was when there was nothing except for the book, nothing except me and the true stories unfolding in my very hands. Unfortunately, I was not able to completely savor the moment as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I had completely forgotten that I had it. I took my phone out of my pocket and glanced at it. There was a familiar number in a square box of text in front of me, one that I had deduced had to be Judy's number, because she was the only one besides my mother that had my number. I decided that I wasn't in the mood for a text chat, so I decided to call her. The phone rang for a minute or so before she picked up.

"Hi Nick. Did you get my text?"

"Yes, I did, i just didn't feel like texting so I called. What's up?"

"Nothing much, I just wanted to chat is all. Uh... what are you up to?" She asks. I stare off into space for a few seconds. "Reading." I said simply. There were a group of voices that joined in with Judy, and she seemed to be put off by it as the tone of her voice seemed highly irritated by their presence. Probably siblings, rabbits tended to have a lot of them.

"That's cool, what are you reading?"

"A nonfiction work by H.P. Wolverine on Zootopia and its many different species and how they effect the economy. What are you up to?"

"Dealing with siblings, you know, bunny stuff." She said. I whistle. I was right to think that she was dealing with siblings at the moment. I look away from the phone for a minute and check the time. It was five o'clock already.

"Well, I only really wanted to say hi. See you tomorrow, bye!" She hung up before I got to say anything. What a strange girl.

The next day seemed to be pretty uneventful, my mother came home at one am as usual, I was well awake to greet her when she got back. We got into a small argument about her job, with me complaining that she was working herself to an early grave while trying to convince her to let me help by getting a job. She of course denied me the chance to do so and instead told me to let her be the adult and for me to stay in my lane as a teenager, even though i knew at least half of Glenwood Saints students had some form of employment. I went to sleep after that and woke up just in time to catch my bus, but not without the sacrifice of not being able to properly groom myself, so that meant I would have to do it in the school bathroom. I wasn't looking forward to that. What I was looking forward to was Mr. Michaels' class, where I would have a lengthy conversation with him about random life things.

"Girl troubles?" He had questioned, throwing me, as always, for a loop.

"No, do I look like the type of fox to be messing around with girls?"

"Yes actually, you do. No offense though, I don't think you're a man whore or anything. You've just got that look, a handsome edge buried beneath all the literal edge. I see it a lot with the boys in this school. It's weird to be honest, I don't know how you all do it." I roll my eyes at his response and sit at my desk. We go back and forth for a little while, both of us seemingly ignoring our work while at the same time being subconsciously focused on it. That's how my fourth period went nearly every day, hence why my favorite teacher was Mr. Michaels.

Next was fifth period, which was a complete blur to me, as I paid too much attention to the school work in front of me rather than the other mammals in my class which was an oddity for me. I usually focused on the mammals in my class for the entertainment value that came from it, rather than the act of them doing things unpredictable. The key was in the predictability, rather than the unpredictability.

Lunch came faster than it normally would, or so it seemed. I sat in my usual area, my mouth watering from the almost plastic food given in a typical high school. Of course, with that came Judy Hopps. She was sitting there before I had even gotten there, which was downright creepy to me, but i decided to ignore the creeping chills in my body in favor of how cute i thought she was.

"Sorry about hanging up so abruptly yesterday. My siblings were getting a bit out of hand." She proceeded to rant to me about her siblings, calling them the most annoying things on the planet, right next to period cramps and ugly country bumpkins that decided the world should be predator free right after they popped out of the womb. It was entertaining to see the way her little bunny nose twitched and how her ears moved around depending on what type of emotion she was feeling. She was highly irritated about something, most likely an incident with another student. Pile that up with over-bearing siblings and you had one upset bunny. She seemed to use me as a vent technique, which I was fine with, as I wasn't used to getting attention from such a pretty mammal. My attraction to her started at about this point, and only grew stronger during the coming weeks. Even now, after all that we have been through together I still don't know why I'm attracted to Judy. What I do know was that she was a very complex mammal. I learned this through her notebook, which she had forgotten on the table at lunch when it ended. This is where my life began to get crazy, as well as a lot more interesting. But alas, I must save that for another chapter.

 _So, I poured through everything you wrote in this chapter of your book and I can say that your way with words is quite jarring, how it seems to change and flow naturally from idioms to similes and then to metaphors while at the same time remaining at-point all of the time. It is a very interesting style, and I hope you bless me with more of this. I cannot write nearly as good as you do, nor do I plan on becoming as good as you. I noticed that you are not too shy about what exactly scared of writing profanity into your works as well. While I don't curse myself too much, I do like the fact that you do this. It makes everything flow better, and it gives your end of the story a much more... personal feel to it, just like Judy's portion._

 _Now, as for the letter you sent me. My family is fine after all that happened, and they personally told me to thank you for being the kindest fox they had ever met, besides your mother of course. That's a really big thing, if you didn't realize it already. My father, being a sheep of old fashion spoke highly of you and he has also gone out of his way to praise your writing style by saying that it was some of the finest first attempts at writing he had ever seen. Coming from the head Bellwether, that means a lot, I hope you know._

 _On another note, how is Judy doing? I've been away for so long that I practically forgot how she looks, if that's even possible. The last time I saw you two was in Glenwood. I hope she is okay, I like her a lot, she's got a nice head on her shoulders, with all being said. I can't wait for a letter from her, this alternative school is god awful, it makes me want to commit suicide at least three times a week, hell I'd rather deal with Gideon all over again or Lionheart (Tell that fluff ball that I miss him, by the way.) if that sounds rational. I can't stress that enough. Anyway, I'm planning on getting these next few pages proofed and sent back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for allowing me to be the one to do it by the way, I really appreciate it, it means a lot to me. I cannot stress that enough, how thankful I am of you allowing me this opportunity._

 _And last but not least, Happy birthday! You are officially eighteen by the time this letter gets to you. I'll send you a little gift for your birthday, I swear. Sheep's honor._

 _-With Heart Indubitably, Dawn_


	4. Chapter 4

_Okay, Judy. I've reviewed the portion of the story you sent me, and I must say that you have impressed me, just as Nick has with his side of things. I like the emotion and truthfulness that you have provided in this work, and it makes me eager for the next letter you send me. I am glad that you have decided to jump into the main themes of the story immediately after the quiet in Nick's chapters allowing a nice contrast in the writing style that have been showcased so far. The things the three of us went through is not something to write about lightly, and deserves the weight and the importance of which you recreate near perfectly in your writing. Though not as fine tuned as Nick's style, I can certainly see the similarities between the two styles that you both have me working with. There is one issue I have with you writing, though. It seems that you haven't reached the level of detail and thoughtfulness that your companion has managed to create within his works. I do not mind this, but it can seem quite jarring to read the story in the way it is being told, but I suppose that you two did this on purpose to emphasize the fact that the story is being told by two different mammals with two different ways of expressing themselves. In light of this, I have decided to have the book edited in a back and forth sort of style, having your chapters following directly after each other so the reader can get the best of both worlds directly after one another. Maybe this will help set up a sort of pattern that the reader can immerse themselves in, which, in my opinion, will cause them to be more intrigued in each story as they unfold. I am interested to see how you two handle the events that took place within Zootopia, as I have waited a long time for you two to bring the events to light. I realize that it may be hard to do this, as you two were very secretive with the horrors that had come to be in our high school, even to me at first, which I completely understand, by the way. In light of this, I will tell you to take your time with everything, and don't rush out your chapters because you feel as though you NEED to send them to me. You do not have to do that, as I am perfectly fine with the rate you and Nick have been sending everything to me._

 _The amount of time and effort that you two are putting into this adaptation of truthful events is quite a sight to see, really. That is why I am so confident in the work you two are doing, especially with you, Judy, seeing as you have over two hundred siblings. With that many brothers and sisters and only one parent I can tell that writing can be quite difficult at times for you, which is why I want to start writing as well. I already have some things that I authored a little while ago waiting on the back burner for when Nick sees fit to use it (Which, by the way, I am patiently and excitedly I am waiting for.), whenever that is._

 _Now with that in mind, I will say thank you once more for allowing me to remain a part of this tale, as I did not contribute a lot to the events that took place until the near end of them. I am looking forward to the next chapter I receive from you two._

 _-With Heart Indubitably, Dawn._

 **4 JUDY**

My mind raced. Where had I left my notebook? I was sure I had it. I combed through the contents of my backpack at least five times looking for it, but I never found it. I was scared that someone in one of my classes had found it, but who is was was beyond me. I stood in my bedroom, a horrified look on my face. Where had I left my notebook? My mind wouldn't focus on anything but that. Maybe I had left it when I was writing on the bus earlier in the morning? No that couldn't have been it, I had it during fifth period. I groaned and sat down on my bed, frustrated with myself for doing something so dumb. I carried that notebook around everywhere, there was no way I had up and forgotten it. I didn't have any friends who knew about it, nor did I have anyone who even knew about WHY I had it in the first place. Some of the girls I hung around knew that I carried it everywhere, but even they thought it was just for school work, as everyone I knew was under the impression that I studied and exercised 24/7 (Which wasn't far from the truth at all), so they couldn't even fathom what was actually within it.

I fall back, letting my entire body plop down on my bed, unsure of what to do with myself now that I didn't have the one thing I always did. At this moment in time, I had just gotten home from the bus and I usually would sit down for thirty minutes to an hour to write, but I couldn't do that now, as I had no idea where my notebook was. A light knock on my door brought my thoughts elsewhere. I hopped off of my bed and made my way to my door, opening it to see who it was. My dad stood at the door, his eyes on his watch. He was dressed in an expensive suit and had a suitcase and backpack on.

"Judy, I need to talk to you for a moment." He said. He beckoned me to follow him, so I closed my door and did so. He led me downstairs to the front room of the house, where my siblings were busy running around and pouncing each other as usual. My dad raised his voice and quieted them down and told them, all fifty of them that were currently running around and not off sleep or work or staying somewhere else.

"Now, all of you. I'm leaving for a few weeks on a business trip so I can make sure we have enough money to live here. I want you all to listen to Judy, as she is currently the oldest here, so do as she says or you all will be in big trouble when I get back, understand?" The children reply all at once, the sounds of laughter and playing echoing afterwards. I smile at their antics before walking up and hugging my dad. The rest of my siblings follow suit, piling up at my fathers legs. In a rare moment of joy he laughs and tickles a few of them before ushering them away so he could leave. He opens the front door and sets out to leave. He briefly turns to face me.

"If you need any help or anything with the kids don't try to handle it yourself, call me, I'll help you as much as I can. I left some money in your piggy bank, on the unlikely chance you run low on food. Call your aunt if you need any immediate help with something. And, as usual, you know that no friend is allowed here unless you ask me, first, but if you do sneak someone in, try not to be obvious about it? Though a simple call to me shouldn't be hard. I have your older siblings coming back for the weeks I'm gone so everyone can be watched and make it to school on time, they should be back later on today, so listen out for the door. I wish I didn't have to do this till after your schooling was finished for the year, but alas, I have to make money, you see. Make sure you be safe, okay? Keep the kids in line, I know you can do it."

"Yes sir."

"Alright, I'll see you later, Judy. I love you."

"Love you too, dad." He lightly grabs my arm and pulls me in for a hug before whispering in my ear. "You make me proud. Your mother would be proud too, bless her soul." He lets me go before making his way to the car. I smile and wave once he begins to drive away, and the rest of my siblings do the same before we all go back in the house.

"Alright, who wants to watch TV?" All of them raise their hands. I smile then turn on the television, putting on some cartoons, before making my way back to my room. go to my phone, planning to find something to do now that I had no notebook to write in. I was still upset and worried about that, but at the moment there was nothing I could do.

Suddenly, I feel my head start to hurt. I needed my medications, which were stored in my father's room, so the kids wouldn't get to them, since they were unusually keen with finding things they shouldn't have. I walk to my fathers room. Before I could open the door, I feel a dark presence to my left. I look, as see all black. The hallway I was in had vanished, leaving nothing but a ocean of darkness. I whimper and open the door to my dad's room. Inside it seemed as though the world had collapsed in on itself, leaving only a void. Glowing far away from me were my meds, the darkness surrounding them taunting me. I knew that what I was seeing wasn't real, only a figment of my fractured mind, so I made my way through the darkness as quickly as I could, not bothering to slow down to make sure I wouldn't trip on anything. As I made my way to them I feel the same dark presence getting closer and closer to me, threatening to swallow me whole. I begin to run, hoping to make my way to my medication before the unknown demon behind me catches me, and luckily I do. I grab the bag of medication, not fearing the darkness any longer now that it was in mind hands. I open the bag and quickly grab the pill bottle, opening it and pouring six into my shaky hand. Without any water I force myself to swallow the pills, the horrible chemical taste sticking to my tongue and making me gag. Once the pills were swallowed I turned around and looked at the demon following me. Its toothy grin was visible from the shadows of the dark void, which slowly evaporated, turning back into my father's room. Eventually the demon and the darkness vanished, leaving just me and the high I felt from my pill overdose. I let a breath I didn't know I had been holding in go, the fright I had experienced over gone.

I hated that I needed to have my medication close to me whenever I had these experiences. If I didn't take them I couldn't fight the darkness that seemed so keen on following me around. At all. I tried to do it before and I only lasted a weak before I needed the medicine again. The longer I'm off of the medicine the more risk I run of being hurt by the darkness and the demon resided in it. My mother had to deal with the same horrid monster before I was born, that's how my father knew of it, because she had the same ailment. We don't know what it is, but Dr. Fushima, my doctor who was a very nice deer, said that it was akin to schizophrenia, which I was diagnosed with when I was thirteen years old, when the demons started to first appear. But for some strange reason I felt like there was something more to my condition. Whenever the demons appeared they could TOUCH me. I often wake up with scratches and missing fur on my chest, near my heart, as if something was slowly trying to rip it out. I told my father of it, and he told me to make sure I took my medication. Dr. Fushima gave the same advice as well, which threw me for a loop. She recommended that I take the medicine three times a day, once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once at night before I sleep to help with the demons and the scratches. The thing that seemed strange about the advice is that she directly referenced the scratches before I had even told her and my father about them.

I didn't pay much mind to it though, and now that I'm starting to get older and starting to understand more I find it all fishy. I shake my head and decide to enjoy the feeling of the drugs in my system, heading back to my room to watch some videos on ZooTube, then after that to make sure my siblings ate. I walked back to my room clumsily, the effects of the medicine throwing me for a loop as I made my way back to the one place I can really relax. Once I was back in my room I fell backwards onto my bed, feeling more happy than usual, because of my medicine. I got the sudden urge to call Nick, the fox being a very interesting thing at the moment. I grabbed my phone, which was laying beside me. I turned it on and went to my contacts list. I dialed his number, then waited for him to answer, unsure if he would given the fact that it was six in the evening. But sure enough after a few moments he answered.

"Hey Judy, what's up?"

"Nottthhhinnngg, Just feelin' good right now. Real good. How about youuu?"

"Uhm... I'm doing good- are you okay? You sound-"

"Drugged? It's cause I ammm!" I had no idea what I was saying, but I said it anyway, since I felt so good at the moment. I couldn't tell that Nick was weirded out at the time though, so I just kept being my weird self.

"Oh. I didn't take you for a person that does drugs, Judy. That's kinda eye opening in all honesty. Uhm... what are you on, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My medicineee."

"Is that like, slang for weed?"

"Nooo I'm serious! My medicine makes me happy!"

"Ooh. Alright I get it. Its slang for acid then."

"No silly, its nothing like that, I have prescriptions-"

"You get prescribed weed? Holy shit that's awesome! Can I have some?" I puffed up my cheeks, slightly frustrated that Nick couldn't understand what I was saying. I wasn't that looped up yet, so I still had half a brain to correct him again.

"No, Nick, I'm just on my meds. Like... doctor meds... for a mental condition."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, my bad. I thought you were- huh? Yeah Finnick, I'm on the phone. With a girl, yes. No, look- Ugh, whatever, man. No! Christ. I'm not 'getting' anything, she's a... friend? Yeah a friend. I'll introduce you two later... Sorry about that Judy, just my buddy being weird. So, what did you call for, again?"

"I just wanted to say hi. I just got the urge to do so because my meds make me loopy, like I am right now, hehehe."

"Oh alright. Well, if you don't mind, I'm doing things with a friend, so, can I call you back later? Like in a few hours or so?"

"Yeah, okay." I say dejectedly.

"Sorry. OH! And I have one of your notebooks, you left it on the table at lunch, I just wanted to let you know. I'll get it back to you tomorrow." I gasp.

"THANK YOU THANK YOU! PLEASE PLEASE get it back to me as soon as possible, its kinda personal, so I need it." I say, my heart beating quickly within my chest.

"No problem, Judy, I'll make sure I put it in my backpack when I get home. I gotta go, though, sorry! Bye!" He hangs up, and I just lay staring at my phone, a happy bubbly feeling coming up in my chest. I get off my bed and hop happily around my room. My happy dance was interrupted by a knock on the front door, which my keen ears picked up even though I was upstairs in my room. I hurriedly made my way down to the front door, pushing past my siblings when I got downstairs. I looked through the peephole on the door and saw who it was. There, outside the door in his familiar white t-shirt and jeans was my brown-furred cousin Jordan. I immediately swing open the door and hug him happily, my tail wiggling.

"Woah! Hey there Jude the Dude, how's it goin'?"

"Good! Thank you so much for coming to help meee!" He laughs and playfully pushes me off of him. "No problem, Jude. I got a call from your dad about thirty minutes ago asking if I could help you out. He didn't call you to tell you I was coming over did he?" I nod.

"No, but he told me he'd have one of my cousins come over to help me out with the kits, so I kinda knew someone would be coming over, I just didn't know who. Thank you again! I have school tomorrow and my meds have me kinda tired so if you can-"

"Say no more, I got you, Jude. What do I need to do?"

"Make sure they eat, I cooked some food yesterday, so it should last for tonight and maybe tomorrow night. Also, make sure they all take showers and get to bed by eight thirty." Jordan scratched his chin and flicked one of his ears, a nervous habit of his, and hummed.

"Alright, that's not too much. I can handle it. I'm guessing I have to take some of them to school?" He asked. I shook my head. "No, they all get on a bus, three different buses to be exact. They know where they need to go, but make sure Anthony and Rhubarb get on the right bus. You remember them, don't you?" Jordan laughs. "Of course I do, those two were major trouble as babes let me tell ya." I snicker. Jordan walks in the house and I close the door behind him. As soon as one of the kits see him they yell for every other mammal in the house to come and tackle him. All but three of the fifty siblings come racing to Jordan, almost knocking him off of his feet.

"Woah! You guys must be pretty excited to see me!" He says with a big grin on his face. I laugh at the display and once again turn to go to my room as Jordan gets situated downstairs. He went back outside for a moment after all of my siblings get off of him and comes back in with a suitcase.

"HEY JUDE, WHERE DO I PUT MY STUFF?" He yells to me.

"IN THE GUEST ROOM DOWN STAIRS, ITS THE FOURTH DOOR TO YOUR RIGHT!" I yell back as I walk to my room.

Once I get back to my safe haven I take off my pants and my shirt, and go to the bathroom. (Yes, Dawn, my room has a bathroom. When you are staying in a three bedroom house with nearly twenty rooms its something that just comes with it, I think.) I stare at myself in the mirror for a while, taking in a good view of my toned body and my well-kept grey fur and my amethyst colored eyes. _'I'm pretty, right?'_ I think to myself. Maybe it was the medication, or maybe it was just me in the moment, but a voice in my head told me to text Nick, a mammal I had only known for a week and ask him to rate just how pretty I was to predators. It seems like I have my mother's obsessive disorder as well, something that my father constantly reminded me of whenever I found something new to obsess over. I remember when I got obsessed with getting fit, I would literally exercise for hours just because I wanted a toned body for a boy I met but never talked to. It was a very weird period of my life, and now it seemed I was back on the same track record with another boy. At least I actually talk to Nick.

I continue to stare at myself, the voice in my head telling me to get frisky with Nick for no apparent reason other than the fact that he was male. My medicine was definitely messing with my head, as the longer I thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea.

"One couldn't hurt. I'll just say it was an accident, that I meant to send it to someone else..." I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed my phone. When I went back to the bathroom I could see that I was only in my sports bra and tight-fit sport shorts. I turned my phone on and switched to the camera. "Just one." I say to myself before snapping a photo and sending it to Nick. Hopefully he won't think I'm some sort of slut, yet at the same time I hoped he was at least open minded when it came to his taste in girls. Whatever it was, I just hoped that it wouldn't ruin our friendship. I didn't really care about that though, my meds had me feeling unusually hot and confident, something I would never be when I wasn't on them. I send the picture to him via text and wait for him to reply. Sure enough it took him less than ten minutes to open the text and see what I had sent. He didn't reply, rather, he decided to call me.

"Hi Nick, how are ya?"

"J-Judy uhm... you uhh... wow. Um, you sent me a picture and well...why? The photo isn't bad... it's not bad at all, I just think you sent it to the wrong mammal..." I thought for a moment. Did I want to admit that I sent it to him, or did I want to lie? I had thought about it before but for some reason I thought that lying would be kind of scummy, so I decided to just tell him the truth, and at the same time take the moment to tease him.

"No, I sent it to you on purpose. I can't talk right now... we can discuss this at school tomorrow." I heard a whimper from the other end of the line, and I had to hold back a snicker. I hang up without saying anything else, then I head to bed. I felt like a goddess for some reason. I should really talk to my dad about lowering my medication dosage.


	5. Chapter 5

_I must say, the end of the last chapter Judy sent me was... interesting. I didn't think she would do something like that, nor would she admit to doing so, but there it was, in writing, plain as day. I congradulate her on making such a bold move, telling everything how it was. but I'll keep this brief. I am going on vacation for a little while and I won't be able to send you two postage for about a month. I know, I know, that's a long time, but I'm going to be doing some research and writing the first drafts of my chapters based on what I find and what I've experienced. I was a little surprised when you praised my letters Nick, and suggested that I begin making my own chapters to be put into the story as well, and I am glad you did so. It makes me feel useful, something I like to feel. Now, with that being said, I will send you two a letter as soon as I can containing my parts of the tale, and I am looking forward to your feedback. I am sorry for this short letter, but as of the time I am writing this I am packing bags, ready for my journey. I must go. Thank you, Nick._

 _-With Heart Induibitably, Dawn._

 **5 NICK**

I sigh, glancing at my phone and checking the time. It was three in the afternoon and hot, making my current endeavor all the more frustrating. I was waiting for a friend to pick me up from school so I could hang out with him, something I usually never did. I had texted my mom an hour prior, to ask for her approval, which she readily granted since she had come to believe that I had no friends. That wasn't one hundred percent true, as I had met Judy and we had managed to become alright friends within a few days, and I had a long time friend by the name of Finnick, who was the one picking me up from school. I had been waiting for about thirty minutes, and it was starting to iritate me. It wasn't because I was waiting, it was mostly because i didn't have anything to do, which, in the right moments, was an okay thing. But now it wasn't. I was excited to do something other than read and sit around watching TV, and enjoying some time with Finnick was exactly what I needed to cool down from a long day of doing bullshit tests and dealing with students talking about things that I could care less about, and from my mind and its annoying idle thoughts. I had been thinking about that strange bunny girl more and more often, my prospects of becoming friends with her becoming a wanted thing instead of something that was just there, which is what I initially assumed our relationship would be. But, over time I noticed that there was something about Judy that I liked. I didn't know what it was then and I still don't know what it is now, still though, it had began to bother me. I had heard on the grape vine that Judy was considered to be a very likeable mammal amongst a sizeable amount of Glenwood's students, and that she was practically idolized by anyone who was into sports due to her contributions to the school track team. This bothered me for some reason, mainly because of my trust issues, and it had, at first, made me wary of her presence. I managed to get around that pretty quickly, though, which was strange since Finnick, who I had known for years, hadn't been someone I trusted until about a year after we first met. Maybe it was because of the type of mammal he was. Finnick was known to be a very angry and abrasive individual, and a lot of mammals at school knew to steer clear from him, lest they wanted to face his wrath for saying the wrong thing. It was strange, especially considering his size. He was only about two foot tall, which usually garnered some snickers and laughs until he talked. I swear, his voice is like a trombone with how deep it is, it doesn't make any sense. I didn't know how to react to that when I first met him, and I remember laughing my ass off for three months after the fact.

A red and orange van with grey, beat up doors pulls into the school parking lot, the familiar sight of a viking fox holding a damsel in distress letting me know that Finnick had arrived. He pulls up next to me and rolls down his window.

"Hey, Nick. Hop in, we gotta go."

"Good to see ya too, buddy." I got to the other side of the van and open the door. The smell of cigarette smoke and marijuana pours out of the van, hitting me straight in the nose before I could even take a step towards the van. I look at Finnick, who was dressed in a simple t-shirt and beige shorts with a small smile on my face. "Geez Finnick, clean out your van! Smells like a freakin' strip club in here," I say as I get in and close the door. I take off my backpack and put it on the back seat. Finnick growls and uses his driving sticks (which where attached to the gas and brake pedals) to move the car out of the parking lot.

"Fuck you, Nick. If you don't like it you can walk to my place from now on. Its a shame you can't drive yet, otherwise I wouldn't have to waste my gas on your ungrateful ass." I snicker. "That rhymed." Finnick gave me a stink eye before shaking his head.

"Anyway, what are we doing today, buddy?"

"Call me buddy one more time and I'll kick your ass."

"Sorry, buddy." Finnick grumbles. "I got some good shit, if you want some. I got a lot of time today before I have to get to work, so we can get fucked and chill for a few hours." He says, turning on his turn signal as he makes a left onto a bigger road leading down to an intersection.

"Sounds good. My mom said it was good for me to hang till like 8, so if you want me to go before then it'll work." I say. Finnick nods. "Good, cause I might get called in early. My boss is a bitch, so he'll probably do it just to spite me, the bastard." I laugh.

"If you hate your job so much why not quit?"

"I don't hate my job. I hate my boss. Big difference. When are you going to start working, anyway? You're 17, you should at least a part time job at a fast food place or something." I shrug and lean back in my seat.

"I don't want to work fast food, I want to write stories or do some type of art. I told you that already." Finnick glances over to me.

"Those are good career choices, not good early work choices, Nick. Shit, I hated working at fast food joints, but I needed the money. Everyone needs a little money in their pockets to buy what they want. I know you have your mom buying you things, but that won't last forever." He was right, and I knew he was right. But, there was a certain issue I had with working and school. I wanted to make sure that I had enough time to keep my grades up and keep up with my passion of writing. That wasn't really a good excuse, but I stuck to it anyway. Plus, my mother didn't want me to work until I went to college and absolutely HAD to work. I was fine with that for the most part but sometimes I wanted to get a job so I could help my mother out. She wasn't having it though, and said that if I wanted to get a job I'd have to either wait till I was 18 or until I went to college. There was no arguing with her when it came to this, and there was no sneaking around to get some type of part time work, since she had my social security card and I didn't remember the number on it.

"I agree with you, Finnick, but other than my own issues with working and school there's also my mom, who doesn't want me to work yet."

"Shit, she's still on that, huh? Unfortunate. Didn't you say she'll let you work at 18?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Whenever you hit 18 come down to my shop and I'll send you to my boss and tell him to interview you. I'm pretty sure you'll get the job. Working with music and guitars sound good?"

"Heck yeah it does. That's a good starting job, I think." Finnick nods and focuses his attention to the road, going silent. He works at a guitar shop that sells records and of course, guitars. I hadn't been there before, but it seemed like a good place to work from what I had heard of it. Then again, I was only hearing about it from Finnick, so the place could be a pig sty for all I know.

We turn in to a very sketchy looking neighborhood and travel down a few streets before turning into the driveway of a beige two story house. This was the residence of Finnick and his father.

"Alright, we're here. Get out of my van." I smile and comply with his wishes. I grab my bag then hop out of the van, closing the door behind me and walking over to Finnick on the driver's side of the van. He hops out of the vehicle and grabs a bag out of it before closing the door. The bag was small and wrapped in plastic. I already knew what it was, so I didn't ask about it, instead I walked behind him as he made his way to the door, watching his ears bob up and down as he walked. I smile.

Finnick reaches his hands into his pocket and pulls out a ring of keys. He grabs a particular key, yellow and slightly rusted and uses it to unlock the front door. I enter the house behind him, and move out of his way went he locks the door behind us.

"Alright, wait for me in my room, I'll be there in a second." I nod and walk through the front hallway. The hallway splits into two different directions, left and right. Finnick goes right, which leads to the front room, kitchen, backdoor, and other rooms I don't yet know about. To the left is a staircase, which is where I go. I walk up the stairs to the second floor. There is a large open space, which leads to another hallway, which is where the bathroom is. To the right of the bathroom is Finnicks room. I walk over to the room and open the door. Inside, there is a bed and a table covered in magazines and notebooks, next to the table was a metal foldabale chair. Three guitars hang from the wall farthest from me, and a CD case with at least fifty or so albums on it stands right under them. There were a few posters decorating the white walls, one for Radiohead, one for a band named Death Grips, and last but not least, an Aphex Twin poster. The last one really surprised me, as it was not there the last time I had come over to Finnick's house on a previous occasion. I walk over to Finnick's bed and sit down, taking it off my backpack and tossing it down.

"Hey, I'm ready boyyy." Finnick says as he strolls into the room holding a small bag with a particular green plant within it. He closes his door and walks over to me, then pulls a pack of cigars out of his pocket and hands them to me.

"You know what to do, get these things open. And emptied. Here." Finnick reaches into his left pocket and retrieves a bag of tobacco and hands it to me.

"Put all of the tobacco in the 'gars in this bag and give me 'em when you're done," He said, turning around and walking over to his table. I turn my attention to the cigars and get to work.

This was a standard thing for us. We would meet up after school and come to his house and smoke our asses off. It was a sort of ritual, one that had been perfected over the course of a year. I remember the first time me and Finnick smoked together, months ago. It had been a long day for the both of us, and we were lounging around the Glenwood Lake, our feet hanging over the edge of the dock. Finnick was down and out of it, saying something about his job and his family situation getting a bit out of control. I was there to lend whatever comforting hand I could, but I couldn't really do much. My life was going great at the time, I was just tired and worried about my mother, who didn't like the word 'rest' no matter how many times I uttered it to her when she came home from work drowsy and out of it. She had told me that she was working to keep the house and to make sure I had a roof over my head, and I told her that I wanted to help. I did, and still do. But my mom is a stubborn woman, and she refused to let me help her. I didn't like it, but I had no choice but to sit back and watch her destroy herself for me. Or did I? Couldn't I just start applying for jobs and convince her otherwise? I used to do work with my father, but now that he was out of the picture I had nothing to do but focus on school, and I made sure that I was perfect at that. That's not all I wanted, though. I didn't just want things to go well for me, I wanted things to go well for my mother as well. I wanted her to be as happy as she made me, and then some. I knew that that wouldn't happen as long as she had the strength to combat it, so eventually I gave in and just let her be. That didn't mean that I didn't care, because I did. A lot. Maybe too much so. It had been racking my brain nonstop at that time, and I needed some form of release. So when Finnick took a fully rolled blunt out of his jacket and offered me some, I took. We both experienced a bond that day, something that solidified us as friends. It was as if we both broke bread and became brothers.

Since then, me and Finnick had made it a point to hang out and smoke, sharing a good time for old times sake. I get up and walk over to Finnick, handing him the cigars.

"Thanks, Nick. I should have this stuff done in a few minutes."

"Alright." I say, before going to sit back down. I glance over to my backpack, figuring I can make sure I have all of my homework prepped for when I get home. I shuffle through my bag, pulling out a grey folder with my name written on it in black permanent marker. I open the folder and examine each piece of paper I had put in it before I left my last period class. Everything was there. I nod and put the folder back in my backpack. I notice a small pink notebook, one that I didn't remember picking up. I take it out and look at it, seeing Judy's name on the front cover. I remember that Judy had left it on the lunch table earlier today, I picked it up and carried it with me all day long, looking for her, but for some reason i couldn't find her. You'd think a girl as popular as her would be easy to spot, but no, it was the opposite. I put it in my backpack before I left school, making a mental note to myself that I would get it back to her by tomorrow. I ran a finger down the cover before opening to the first page. It was dated September 1st. I began to read the first page.

 _'Today is the first day of school for me, and I'm pretty excited. Last year was pretty great, and I made a lot of friends. I'm hoping the same will happen this year, though I'm pretty sure it will based on my reputation. Mammals just seem to gravitate towards me for some reason, and at first I found it weird, but coming into my sophmore year I can safely say it doesn't bother me much anymore. I-'_

"Yo, Nick. I got everything rolled up!" I close the notebook and look up at Finnick, who was holding two perfectly rolled blunts in his hands, a wicked smile spread across his face. I return the smile and stand up. He hands me one of the dope roll ups and we both spark them up, ready to experience the true fun of the day. Suddenly my phone rings, and i reach into my pocket, irritated at whomever had dared to call me at such a special time. I look at the contact name, and to my surprise, it was Judy. I glance over to Finnick, who was busy smoking and sigh. I didn't really want to talk to Hopps at the moment, for obvious reasons, so I sat staring at the phone, unsure of if I should answer it or not. I decide to answer the call, against my better judgement.

"Hey Judy, what's up?" I ask.

"Nottthhhinnngg, Just feelin' good right now. Real good. How about youuu?"

"Uhm... I'm doing good- are you okay? You sound-"

"Drugged? It's cause I ammm!" I narrow my eyes and look down at my phone. She was on something, whatever it was I didn't know, but it sounded like she was having a good time.

"Oh. I didn't take you for a person that does drugs, Judy. That's kinda eye opening in all honesty. Uhm... what are you on, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My medicineee." What type of medicine made you sound like _that_?

"Is that like, slang for weed?" I look down at the blunt in my hand and put it up to my lips, lighting it and taking a long drag from it, holding it in for a few seconds before letting it all go.

"Nooo I'm serious! My medicine makes me happy!"

"Ooh. Alright I get it. Its slang for acid then." I say, feeling a warmth spread through my brain, then down to the rest of my body.

"No silly, its nothing like that, I have prescriptions-"

"You get prescribed weed? Holy shit that's awesome! Can I have some?" I say, looking at Finnick, noticing he probably had no idea I was on the phone, since he had headphones in his ears and his phone in his hand. He was probably scrolling through his social media or something along those lines.

"No, Nicky, I'm just on my meds. Like... doctor meds... for a mental condition."

At that point, if I wasn't getting stoned, I would have felt pretty bad about making fun of Judy for sounding like a drunk trucker at 3 a.m. But, since I had a blunt in my hand and a head full of smoke, I didn't care too much. I decided to apologize anyway. My ears twitch when i realize what Judy had called me. 'Nicky'? The fuck kind of nickname was that? A deep feeling of annoyance began to form in my head, effectively ruining my high temporarily. I sigh and take another lungfull of smoke.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, my bad. I thought you were-" I notice FInnick staring at me, one of his headphones hanging out of his ear as he smiles in my direction. "What you up to Nick? Chatting with your girl, I see?" I sigh. "Yeah Finnick, I'm on the phone with a girl, no big deal." I turn my attention back to Judy, ignoring FInnick's laughs and jabs, even though he kept saying that I was trying to get my dick wet, which hadn't crossed my mind even once. Until now that is. A lapdance would be great at the moment.

"So, what did you want, Judy?"

"I just wanted to say hi. I just got the urge to do so because my meds make me loopy, like I am right now, hehehe."

"Oh alright. Well, if you don't mind, I'm doing things with a friend, so, can I call you back later? Like in a few hours or so?" I said, trying to hide the blatant annoyance that my voice is drenched in. The line goes silent for a few moments, then Judy replies. "Yeah, okay." She says, obviously disheartened by my sudden want to leave. Or maybe she realized that I didn't want to talk to her. I shuffle around and stand up, stretching, my phone laying on the bed for a few seconds before I picked it up. I remember a certain fact, one that had been in the back of my mind ever since I had gotten to Finnick's house.

"Oh yeah, I have one of your notebooks, you left it on the table at lunch. I just wanted to let you know. I'll get it back to you tomorrow." I hear a squeal on the other side of the line and pull the my phone away from my ear, wincing.

"THANK YOU THANK YOU! PLEASE PLEASE get it back to me as soon as possible, its kinda personal, so I need it." I scratch one of my ears, a lopsided smile on my face. "No problem, Judy, I'll make sure I put it in my backpack when I get home. I gotta go, though, sorry! Bye!"

I hang up the phone and turn my attention back to Finnick, who was staring at me witha shit-eating grin across his face. I immediately rolled my eyes and looked away from him, which causes the small fennec fox to burst out laughing. "You didn't tell me you had some side candy, Wilde! I feel betrayed!" I look at him. "Are you serious, Finnick? I don't have any quote unquote 'side candy', Judy is just a friend of mind that I met a few weeks ago. That's all." FInnick snickers.

"You know, usually guys would admit to having a piece of ass around, Nick. It's only natural! There's no need to be afraid of whats going on in your head. Or whats going into your pants, if you catch my drift." I roll my eyes and look down at my phone, then at my backpack. I open my backpack and reach into it. "There's nothing on between me and Judy, dude. We just met. I can barely call us friends, really." I say, staring at Judy's notebook, curious and eager to read more. At the moment I was thinking I could find out more about the strange girl, which did end up happening, but I can safely say now that I bit off more than I could chew. I hear Finnick laugh, and I let out a soft sigh before going back to smoking.

I feel the warmth of the substance in my lungs spread throughout my body, the high I had before returning in full. I finish the rest of my blunt, messing around with Finnick as I did so, the both of us getting quite a few laughs from various internet blogs and videos of mammals doing dumb things and getting hurt because of those things. We talked as well, from school to homelife, nothing was too personal to talk about between us. It was our usual way of doing things. Friendly conversation and outlandish jokes filled the air around us, the mood of the room being one of fun and ease, just how I liked it when I was sky high and feeling the heat of things. Eventually both of us went silent and just sat staring into nothingness, music playing from Finnick's phone.

I check the time on my phone. It's nearly 7:00 p.m somehow, meaning I only had about an hour before I had to be on my way home. "FInnick, I need to... uhh... Shit I forgot what I was about to say." I scratch my head and look around confused. FInnick laughs. "It's cause you're a dumbass, Nick. A complete tool." He says before standing up and stretching.

"We need to get cleaned up so your mom won't smell the dank on us. Hit up that bathroom Nick, I'm gonna go take a shower downstairs and get ready for work." Finnick walks towards the door. "Don't forget your backpack here like you did last time." I laugh. That was an interesting day, to say the least. I nod at Finnick as he leaves the room. I sit, alone, staring at the wall, too high to want to get up and stand. I groan and stand up against my own will and clumsily make my way over to the door, which Finnick left open when he left. I make my way to the hallway and walk to the bathroom and open the door. I stare into the darkness of the bathroom, feeling a bit on edge for some reason. I narrowed my eyes and look at the darkness, it seemingly taking on the form of a mammal. I reach into the bathroom and turn on the light. The shape was gone. I scratch my ear and use the sink to wash my hands. I made sure to apply extra soap to it to get the smell of weed off of my paws. I splashed some soap and water on my mouth as well, just to make sure my mom didn't become too suspicious. I look up into the mirror, and I look at my face. It seemed to be moving on its own for some reason, and it was stuck with a devilish smile. At that moment I figured I was so high that I was hallucinating, and as a result I didn't pay any mind to the strange occurence. I leave the bathroom and turn off the light. I glance back into the darkness, and once again I see a figure standing within it, and it seemed to be staring directly at me. I wanted to go into the bathroom to see if it was just my imagination, but for some reason my brain was completely against it. I tried to put a foot forward towards the bathroom, but I couldn't. I was afraid. In light of this, I turn around and head back to Finnick's room to get my backpack. I go downstairs and to the front door, and I waited for Finnick there. That shadow thing had scared me, and becuase of that I was feeling afraid of the house I was in, as if I were some small child.

It would have frustrated me if I wasn't so paranoid. I was too busy listening out for the smallest little sound, so I didn't move or pay attention to anything else but the ambient noise of the house. Eventually, FInnick was out of the shower and dressed for work. He was wearing a black shirt and sleek khaki pants that I was surprised he could fit. They looked like they were the child's equivalent of adult clothing, a fact that would have made me laugh if I wasn't eager to leave the house and go home.

"Let's go Nick. I gotta be quick so I can make it to work on time." Finnick opens the front door and ushers me out. The both of us make our way to his van and get in. "I had fun today, Nick. As usual. You want to invite that girl you were talking to over next time?" I glare at him, which causes the small fox to laugh, his laughter grating my ears and causing me to become slightly irritated.

"Can you stop mentioning Judy? There's nothing going on between me and her!" Finnick smirks and looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

"The more you deny it, the more true it starts to become." At that, I decided to stop talking for the duration of the ride to my house. Once we made it there I thanked FInnick and hopped out and walked towards the front door. I noticed that my mom's car was in the driveway. I knock on the door. After a few minutes my mom opens up the door and smiles at me.

"Hi, honey! How was your little play date?" She asks, which makes me want to shrink into my own skin when I hear Finnick laughing in his van. I turn to him and stick my tongue out, which he replies to with a very agressive finger. I roll my eyes and turn back to my mom, who waves at Finnick as he pulls out of the driveway and heads off. "It wasn't a play date, mum." She smiles. "Sure it wasn't. Are you hungry, dear?" I smile and nod.

"I'm starving. What did you make?" Suddenly my mother's eyes light up, and she begins to explain the laundry-list of food she had made while I was gone.

I laid down on my bed, and stared at my phone. Today had been a good day. Not only had I talked to Judy, a girl that I was slowly beginning to take a real liking to, but I also smoked a blunt with my buddy Finnick and hung out at his place for a few hours. i let out a breath and flicked my finger across the screen of my phone, looking for something to watch to pass time. I wasn't tired like I usually was after I smoked, so I needed something to do while I waited for my brain to stop being hyperactive. So, instead of doing homework, I decided that I would just watch retarded videos until I passed out. Dinner had been kick ass, so it shouldn't be long until I fell asleep.

But something was bothering me. I was feeling like I was being watched whenever I left my room. I don't know why. It was the same feeling I got at Finnick's house when I tried to walk into the bathroom. There was a strange fear that had clutched my mind and wouldn't let go. Something old. Something primal. Maybe it was just the weed? I don't know. But whatever it was, it made me uncomfortable and uneasy whenever I decided to close my eyes, which was part of the reason why I couldn't sleep. I sit up in my bed and cautiously look around my room, the darkness seeming to jump out as me as my eyes roamed around the walls. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary, yet I still felt as though a presence was close to me, its eyes locked on my very being as it stared through me. The feeling had my eyes darting around the room, unsure of whether or not I was freaking out or if the ganja was making my paranoia skyrocket. My phone vibrates. I turn my attention back to the technology in my hands and see that Judy had sent me a message. I want to open it, but I decide against it for the time being and go about my business staring at the walls of my room. Suddenly, the feeling that I was being watched and that there was something with me vanished, and I was left alone wondering if I was going crazy or if I had smoked some laced shit. I shook my head and stood up from my bed and stretched, feeling a bit light headed. I go to the bathroom and take a quick piss then I make my way back to my room, closing the door behind me. I walk back over to my phone, my curiosity getting the better of me. I open the message she sent and I see something unexpected.

It was a photo of Judy in nothing but her underwear and what seemed to be a sports bra. I stare at the photo, my eyes wide and my ears standing straight up. I close the image and call Judy. She answers damn near instantly.

"J-Judy uhm... you uhh... wow. Um, you sent me a picture and well...why? The photo isn't bad... it's not bad at all, I just think you sent it to the wrong mammal..." I say nervously, not used to getting any attention from any female besides my mom. (I know, it's sad. Bite me, Belly)

"I sent it on purpose, Nick. I can't talk right now. See you tomorrow, bye!" She hangs up, leaving me dumbfounded and confused. I put my phone down and look up, only to meet the eyes of a dark shadow being.


	6. Chapter 6

_I was talking to my father about some things that have come up in our family, something particularly egregious, that has left many of my relatives in a state of anger, and he began to tell me a short tale to ease my mind from the things happening. It's an old tale, something that had been told in secret between our ancestors for hundreds of years, and though there are hidden texts that pertain to the story, it was usually relayed through word of mouth. It is the origin and meaning of our family name; Bellwether. I know this seems to have nothing to do with the story at hand, but I think there is some sort of connection between it and the events that you and Nick are retelling through this work, that we have lived through. It seems to be that fate is in fact a real thing, and that we try to deny its existence to give ourselves the illusion of choice, but at the end of the day, our lives are predetermined by some higher power. But I digress, I need to relay the story to you, don't I?_

 _It starts off with a lamb, one from olden times, in the era before technology had been a term to describe super computers, before it had been synonymous with this such as industrial trains, or even the printing press. A time before technology was even a word that any mammal had ever uttered. This was a time of tribal behaviour, and of superstition, a time where there was a firm belief in the occult around the world. Religion shaped the viewpoints of everyone, and because of this, it had ultimate power over the minds of the world._

 _There was an idea that fluttered about through the minds of religious individuals, detailing the sin that was carnal desire, or more appropriately; lust. It was considered by some to be evil, even if it was aimed at a mate or lover. Nature's way of reproduction was heinous and filthy to these individuals, so much so that they took precautions to avoid the opposite sex. As you can probably guess, these individuals were all male. They believed that females were the ultimate evil, as they masqueraded as beings that should be protected, and should be treated at a high regard because of their reproductive ability. But to them, this was a great mistake. Fleshy desire was meant to be overcome and conquered, not to be freely given in to. These like-minded individuals came together and formed the Fellowship of Clergy, and made it their mission to find a way to get away from the sin they saw sexual intercourse as._

 _People called them crazy. Reproduction is a necessary part of life, so is sex. How could they say that it was evil and not a single soul should participate? The Fellowship was mocked and ridiculed because of this, but the Clergymen never buckled beneath the constant backlash they received. They kept their faith mostly to themselves, never trying to preach, instead they waited for mammals to 'see the light' as they would put it. Much to the surprise of the world, The Fellowship gained traction, without doing a single thing. Those who joined had proclaimed to truly understand why the Fellowship was necessary, saying that there was more to it than meets the eye._

 _With that being said, we return to the lamb that this story revolves around. He was a mammal with no name, so he was called None, and was treated as if he was nothing in his community. But he didn't mind this, as he saw that his community was rife with nudity and adultery, and thought that the ways of old were going to be the downfall of the society he found himself living in. Because of this, None sought out the teachings of the Fellowship of Clergy. Though he was skeptical at first, their words began to resonate within him as they pointed out the folly of mammalkind. He was slow to come to terms with their teachings, nonetheless, stating that even though he believed them, he had never experienced the dangers of carnal pleasure for himself, as he was a nobody to his village._

 _The Clergymen, understanding his plight, decided to tell their stories of small rural towns all the way to cities being collapsed by a male losing sight of his vision because of the influence of the female sex. With a righteous tone within their voices, they claimed that most males never opened their eyes to the dangers of feminine contact, and that although it was a sad sight, it was a good thing. They mentioned a deity known simply as Blodeuwedd. When None requested more information on the deity, he was refused, as he was not indicted into the Fellowship._

 _None was confused. They proclaim that everything pertaining to sexual desire was bad, so why would they say that it was a good thing now? The reply he had received is what turned him into a believer._

' _Without sin, no one would experience the light, as it would not exist.'_

 _I will finish this tale in another letter. I am sorry for not being able to do so this time, but I swear I am going somewhere with this. I have a lot to take care of, Judy. Say hello to Nick for me!_

 _-With Heart Indubitably, Dawn_

 **6 Judy**

I felt awful stepping into school after sending Nick pictures of myself. We had just met! What was I thinking? I don't know what came over me, but it almost felt as though I _wanted_ him to chase after me, to want to stare at my body. I know he's no stranger to it, because before we had formally met, I caught him staring at my ass. I didn't acknowledge it, as he didn't do anything but stare for a few seconds before continuing on his way, but he still did it regardless. That had to mean that he was a least partially interested in me right? I adjusted the straps on my back pack, my body feeling a strange discomfort I hadn't felt before. I had most likely taken things a bit too far with Nick, all things considered. I made a mental note in my mind to make sure that I apologized to him for being what was essentially a whore at that moment in time.

Quickly shifting through the densely packed hallways, weaving my way through mammals both predator and prey alike, I made my way to my locker, hoping that I would see Nick, but also dreading the thought of coming anywhere near the red fox, a certain unease filling my head. Blue lockers filled my vision as I looked for my number, 236, in what seemed to be an endless expanse of metal, tile, and white walls. Eventually I stumbled across it, my fingers guiding themselves towards their destination, the muscle memory built from doing the exact same task every day taking over my body as my mind wandered. The voices of the students around me seemed to drown out as I opened my locker, the contents within it being my main focus; a few textbooks and a stack of graded homework, on that was too big to fit into any folder I had, which is why I had decided to store it instead of actually putting them away somewhere else or simply taking them home. A sigh that sounded like one of defeat escaped my lips, a shudder trickling down my frame. It felt cold, the air around me. I felt eyes looming over my figure, eyes that were somehow inside of my locker. I look up, and I wish I hadn't. A head, one of a lamb, sat on the top shelf, its blood dripping down and forming a pool around the bottom of my locker, which began trickling to my feet. To my horror, its eyes were missing, in there place where black glass spheres of some sort, an expanse of stars that formed what looked like the galaxy being housed within them. The head's white fur had been singed black by fire, its skin peeling off, revealing a misshapen skull.

I take a few steps back, my heart pounding. Its mouth spit gibberish, words I couldn't understand, before it snapped shut. I closed my eyes and thought _'ITS NOT REAL, ITS NOT REAL!'_ , hoping the mantra would help me as it always did. Once again, it had. There was no lamb head when I opened my eyes. There was no blood. No galaxies twirling in black orbs. Confused, I look around my locker, making sure nothing was in it, throwing my bag into it before slamming it shut and locking it. That was enough of that for today, no, for a lifetime. The hallucinations I've had since I was a little doe had always been strikingly surreal and horrifying, though they were never this pronounced. I needed to take my medicine again, but I was running low on it, so in my eyes there was no point to actually take it now unless the shadows decided to make an appearance. Why was everything seeming to crumbled around me in such an outstanding fashion these past few weeks? It's not like I'm doing anything different, other than hanging around Nick and having a huge crush on him; a factoid that I hadn't really decided to think upon, mainly because it was such a new development, though, my strange obsessions with random mammals was not.

I guess you could say that I had always been like this, somewhat bouncing between new males to obsess over for little to no reason, other than the fact that I found them cute at one point. It had always been prey though, never a predator, never a FOX specifically, but there was something about Nick Wilde and how he observed the world that I liked. Then again, I don't know him very well. I groan and rest my head against my locker.

What am I going to do with myself?

 **XXX**

Class has been uneventful, specifically because I don't get to see anyone I actually care about, I just have to listen to my science teacher preach about how evolution was the key to understanding our biological makeup as mammals, which was true, I suppose. However, I already _knew_ this, it had been a topic of discussion last week. For some reason Dr. Fig had a keen interest in evolution and the studies of things in its nature, so, by default, he would generally ask the class questions in order to prompt some sort of discussion, whether that discussion was warranted or not. I just sat at my desk, staring down at the boring wood, wishing I could do something other than sit on my ass all day. I mean, I AM the valedictorian of my class, in all of my classes, a star athlete (As other mammals liked to say), and I have quite the friend group, so anything would be better than the perpetual torture of listening to rehashes of the same lesson over and over again. Luckily, the bell rings, preventing me from really falling deep into a pit of thought, which would probably lead to hallucinations and the shadows coming back. I check the time.

It's around 10, which means 45 minutes until lunch, and 45 minutes of me hating my life even more because of my physics teacher. I walk through the crowded hallways, moving quickly through mammals of all shapes and sizes, predators, prey, what have you; all of them seeming uninteresting at this moment, the colors of their fur appearing grey, along with the walls and the floor tiles and the lights. Today wasn't shaping up to be a good one, and without the aid of my medicine... well, I would have to fight to retain at least a semblance of sanity through out the week. It was harsh, but, I know my father is going to go get more from the doctor... hopefully he could do it sooner rather than later.

"OH. M. GOODNESS! JUDY!" My large ears shoot up at the mention of my name, and the familiar voice of a particular fluffy cheetah. I turn to my left to see Clawhauser, one of my best friends. As always he was fashionably flamboyant, wearing a pink button up short sleeve dress shirt and blue jeans. Next to him was Dawn Bellwether, a lamb that I had infrequent conversations with, but still considered a friend. I had noticed that she was always very quiet, in both personality and clothing choice, her favorite thing to wear being a black hoodie and skirt. There was a third mammal with them, who seemed to be actively trying to disappear into the wall. I take a step closer to see who it is and... oh gods.

"We met your new friend!" Clawhauser says, placing his hand on Nick Wilde's shoulder. I tried my best not to look him directly in his absolutely gorgeous emerald eyes, a deep feeling of shame and guilt welling up in the deepest recesses of my being. Nick gives me an awkward, lopsided smile, his eyes half-lidded as per usual, his pointy fox ears pinned firmly to his skull. My gods, he's ashamed of me!

"H-hey Judy... how's it hangin'?" He asks, nervously. Clawhauser gives him a funny look before laughing, pushing him forward slightly. Nick lets out what seems to be an embarrassed whimper. "Don't be all weird, Nick, that's Bellwether's job! From what I heard from Sasha, though, you two seem pretty acquainted, even though you just met what, a week ago? Maybe a little longer?" He teases, his eyebrows wiggling. I look away from him, biting my bottom lip.

Bellwether gives me a deadpan look. "Its happening again, isn't it?" This causes Nick to perk his ears up a bit. "What's happening again?" He questions. My eyes go wide and my heart races a little, my brain screaming at me to prevent yet another obsession from getting away too early before anything could actually come of it.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! In fact, it's so much nothing that we should all probably get to class! YES! we should probably get to class! I'll see you at lunch Nick, bye!" And with that, I dart off, my chest aching from the beating in my ribs.

 **XXX**

5th period went by surprisingly fast after the whole ordeal with Clawhauser, Bellwether, and Nick (Even though at the time, I was just overreacting), my mind being focused on how exactly I would deal with the situation at hand. Time seemed to hate me at this point, because every time I glanced at the clock, a full 10 or 15 minutes seemed to fly by without me even noticing. My foot tapped the hard wood floor beneath me in a steady, but fast pace, most likely letting anyone with an ounce of hearing know that I was a nervous wreck at the moment. I didn't let that bother me though, what was really bothering me was the fact that I had to talk to _him,_ and possibly explain my overly-attached, obsessive behavior. (Keep in mind that I had no clue that I was actually being obsessive, I kind of just assumed that all mammals behaved like I did for a time, before my father took me to the doctor and the doc told him that I was missing a few screws in the old brain machine.)

I freeze when I hear the bell ring. Why in god's name did time have to move so fast today? It was like the universe was purposely trying to push me towards my inevitable embarrassment! I didn't want that at all! Shakily, I stand up and grab my purple backpack, put it on and walk out of the room, scared to death of confronting Nick about anything, especially when Clawhauser and Bellwether most likely filling his head with horror stories about the LAST time something like this happened. P.S, it didn't end very well.

Everything around me seemed so grey and menacing, mammals appeared to be tall, thin, twisted vespers, all staring at me with some sort of carnal delight at my current plight, knowing that I couldn't escape it, even if I wanted to. I wanted to talk to him, to find out how this mysterious, sexy, cute, adorable, hot red fox worked. I wasn't romantically interested in him in the slightest, I just had a small obsessive crush, something that I hoped would fade in time so that Nick and I could have a somewhat normal friendship, but considering everything that's happened in my life, I doubt something like that will happen.

The lunchroom, as I approached it, looked as if it were shrouded in a red mist, a deep scarlet hue that made my fur stand on end. I REALLY did not want to go in there, but seeing as how I had already told Nick that I would see him at lunch, there was no backing down now. I never go back on my word. If I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it, no matter how much it scares me. Towards the far end of the cafeteria was the same table Nick and I sat a little while ago, where we had our first actual conversation that didn't seem forced. Everything leading up to now, even though the interactions weren't much, seemed to be making everything harder for me, and most likely for Nick as well. He was just a mammal trying to keep his grades up in school, he didn't need to get involved in my craziness... my lunacy. Yet, he was, whether he liked it or not, and I guess my mind was okay with that. Even though my conscious wasn't.


End file.
